Anna Loves Ice Cream

Random Rants

2012-02-02T17:02:00.001+08:00

Argh, am I acting like a princess? Or I am lazy? I always feel like giving up when I feel helpless. I love my job but I hate all the troubleshooting and problem solving specially when I have no idea how it works. I've been sitting here whole day and gaining nothing. Not to mention, solving nothing too. Waste of time huh? I am such a complainer. I feel like a baby and a useless person as I am not able to do my job perfectly. Throughout my 26 years, I seldom see people happy with their jobs. No matter where I go, people will show their sour faces while working. I guess most of the happy people are the one earning damn much. So, in order for me to be happy ,I need to earn more? Be a boss. Work like a mad cow for myself instead for others.

Aiya, I always complain then get back to normal state then complain then get back to normal state. It's a cycle that I believe most of us are experiencing. It's ok. Things will get straighten eventually. Kesian my bf. Always hear me complaining. He is numbed as I always ask him what's the point of living? :P I always try to figure out point of living for those poor people. They have to work fucking hard until they are dead. For? For? No answer.

With what I earning now, I don't think I can even afford a house or even a child. It's like if I bring him/her to this world is to make him/her suffer cause I can't provide him/her enough. With the increasing price for a house and cost of living, how are we the younger generation manage to have a family? Maybe can la. Buy a small size condo/service apartment like 500-900 sqf with 2 rooms, one for the couple and one for the children. The "home" will be small enough that your children can hear you fucking in the room at night. I guess this is why parents nowadays resort to having 1 child only.

Surviving is hard. Very hard. I guess this is why human is getting heartless and selfish. We need to fight for our own life. GRR... Don't you fucking fuck with me or I will fuck you back!

Haih, I don't get it how some people can be ignorant in this matter. Why? They have no goals in their life? Or they already accept the cruelty of this world? I think I need to convince myself to accept my life too.

Grr.. Don't know what I am ranting anymore. No matter what I ranted, I am still grateful for what I am having. I know my life is consider very good compare to many people. I know whenever I fall, there will be someone there to help me. I love you all whom love me as much back. :P

Oh ya. Here's how I look like recently.

BYE.

Tut..

2011-12-21T17:59:00.001+08:00

Tut...
Tut...

I am so busy with my life that I have no time to blog.

Tut...
Tut...

Pain

2011-08-25T17:06:00.001+08:00

My birthday is coming! Yay. I am not afraid to announce at all. Am proud of my age (25). :p

This year has been a painful year for me. First, I almost get my nose broken due to banana boat. Yeah, how on earth playing banana boat can cause injury? I never heard any story about people getting hurt while playing banana boat. Well, somehow I am sandwiched in between two people when we are dropped into the sea. My face knocked onto the head of person in front of me and then the person behind me knocked my head and again I am knocked onto the head of the person in front of me. Wah, my explanation seems so not understandable. Whatever. To cut short, I felt pain instantly. Blood gushed out and tears came unwillingly. So, we requested the boat driver to send us back to the beach. WHO KNOWS THAT STUPID BASTARD DROP US AGAIN. LUCKILY NO ACCIDENT HAPPEN THIS TIME. ONLY I DRANK SO MUCH SEA WATER WHILE IN PAIN.. FUCK YOU. I AM NOT ABLE TO SCOLD YOU BACK THEN BUT I CAN DO IT NOW. Oh well, I thought that was the most painful moment in my life.

Secondly was during my LASIK procedure. >.< The doctor needed to put a cylinder into my eyes to prevent my eyes from closing during the procedure. Everything went well with my right eye. When it comes to the left eyes, I almost give up. The stupid cylinder doesn't fit into my eyes resulting the doctor to try again and again and again. GOD DAMN IT! I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT I ALMOST GIVE UP! I was in the verge of giving up but I didn't because the doctor was damn nice. His voice was so calming. He's really a good doctor. I prayed so hard the cylinder will stay put in my eye each time. Looks like I am one of the special person with weird eye structure. Luckily, with my and the doctor determinations, I scored the procedure. Though, I went home with pain or what we call pedih on both eyes. Pain killer was my best friend. :p

Then last week my front tooth's root suddenly became infected. In just on week my face became swollen until I looked like Caesar. Don't know who Caesar is? The ape in The Rise of Planet Apes (bf fav movie). His wish came true lo. Love the movie so much that he got the chance to look at the ape for a week. LOL. Ok back to my tooth. My face not only swollen, but I was in so much pain that I can't even sleep. I ate >10 panadols in a day. Beh tahan dy, early morning went to doctor but the doctor was having another patient. I can't wait any longer, so I went to the dentist next door. Got myself medicine but guess what the doctor lied to me. She said the swollen face and pain will subsided by night time. DAMN. NOT ONLY MY FACE GET MORE SWOLLEN BUT THE PAIN DEGREE INCREASED. I FEEL LIKE WANNA KILL MYSELF.

The next day, I went back to my dentist early in the morning (not the one lied to me). She was shocked that I got myself into the situation in just a week. She said in her so many years of practice, she never saw such case before. I mean the extreme swollen. She took and x-ray of my tooth instantly and explained that I will need to do a root canal extraction. I requested her to just pluck my tooth. After the x-ray, I am brought into a series of pain. You all know right the needle?? BIG BIG ONE. While she was injecting the numbing liquid, I AM SCREAMING FOR HELP INSIDE. WHAT THE FUCKING PAIN! 3 seconds felt like FOREVER! She said the pain was due to all the pus inside. DAMN IT. Then she made 1cm incision on my gum. AND PUSHED ALL THE PUS OUT. BELIEVE ME ALL THE PUSHING HURT ME DAMN MUCH. (well the amount of pus scared her too. lol) I ONLY WISH FOR SOMEONE TO PUNCH ME SO THAT I FAINT. THE PAIN WAS FUCKING UNBEARABLE!!!!! After all the pain, she tried to insert something metal into my mouth. MY MOUTH IS TOO SMALL FOR THAT METAL EVEN SHE USED S SIZE ONE. In the end she had to used CHILD SIZE one to put into my mouth. Pain non stop. She said ok, you're done. I will see you next week. WTF WTF I CAN GET OUT FROM ALL THE PAIN. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

In fact, today I just had my tooth extraction. The needle doesn't hurt at all!!! I don't feel anything at all for the whole process. I really don't know how to illustrate all the pain I gone through using words. But I swear this is the first time in my life I had so much pain in one year.

You sure be thinking why this girl so strong. LOL. Okla maybe I puji myself but actually throughout all these pains, my bf was with me all the time. He brought me to doctors, he reminded me to take medicine, he stood there to let me scold when I am in pain, basically, he is everywhere. Even today cabut gigi also he fetched me there. Where to find such dedicated bf? OMG suddenly I feel I am so lucky and hang fuk to have a bf that teman me during the down period. I never need to cry alone anymore. To the girls out there please don't jealous me ya. :p

Backups

2011-08-03T17:28:00.001+08:00

My friend once told me that most of his friends has backups. By backups I mean backup girlfriends or dating partners. You know, just in case things doesn't work out with the current one, the replacement is just a step away. The way I see this is well, those people who did such thing has no confidence towards themselves and their partner. Or maybe their feelings are not real to begin with. Or they are being treated wrongfully which encourage them to find a backup. Of course I won't say such doing is immoral because as an outsider, I have no right to be judgmental. I will never know what truly happened between them.

Someone said my current bf was actually my backup. After a considerable long thought, I am 101% sure he never once is my backup. Considering the time I used (a short short time) to get out from my devastated state (post break-up), I don't blame people for being doubtful. From my point of view, why would I stay in the dark moment when I have chance to be happy? Why would I listen to someone who abandoned me and disappointed me again and again and again? Why would I choose to mourn for a selfish person that still wanna 'own' me but doesn't want me as gf? Absurd right?

Never once that I made up stories for people to pity me. Whatever stories I told to people about my past are the truth. How I am being ill-treated or how emotionally distraught I am are all real. Sorry la, I cant remember the details of my past already. Therefore I cannot elaborate further. :P Other than the bad guy, I guess my bf understands this well (lol nothing I can hide from him =.=).

Actually the simplest way to explain this is "I deserve better". I cannot change the past but I am able to shape my future. I am proud to say I did not betray anyone for the happiness I am having right now. I am proud to be who I am today and to have him by my side. Life is getting better. Right now at this moment I am feel blessed for having him and a career that I have so much to look forward too.

*Peace*

little thoughts

2011-07-07T18:20:00.003+08:00

Wow I received a comment from an anonymous person whom brightens my day with his comment on my post. This one.

To the Random Googler, thanks for your comment. Indeed I found the special someone. He is not afraid to discuss the future with me. He never treated me as a baggage. He puts me in as part of his priorities. With all the hopes and dreams and happiness never once I feel like going back to the time when I am disappointed. Never once I regretted.

I have been wondering for quite sometimes now. What is the purpose of life? I believe I am not alone in this. Everyone wants answer. But then I realized i cannot get the answer from anywhere except myself. I am the one who has control over my own life. After some thinking, I am satisfied with this answer.

Life is process. A process for me to feel every feeling human can bear. A process for me to see the world. I want to be happy and I want to make people around me happy. I want to visit every zoo and safari in the world with you. I want to collect 1000 movie stubs so that when we are old we still able to talk about the movies we had watched together. Maybe visit Bora-Bora? :P

See, so much to life I can look forward to. Don’t be with someone who always brings you down. Don’t be with someone that made you lose your pride. Choose to be happy. :P

My Experience With Optimax Eye Specialist

2011-05-19T12:27:00.002+08:00

*Not an advertorial*

I did not plan to do Lasik at all. I mean not in the near future. Redang was our initial plan. My bf suddenly suddenly suggest that we should save the money for me to undergo Lasik. Oh ya, the reason I aimed for Lasik since years ago was my eyes are too sensitive for contact lenses. I tried more than 10 brands and I can't get a suitable one for my delicate eyes. So, Lasik is my only solution.

*excited*

I had two choices. Vista Eye Specialist or Optimax Eye Specialist. After a brief research I found out that Vista's iNasa Lasik which cost ~RM10k for both eyes is not that superb afterall. It just has a fancy name but actually you can get the same technology in other small clinics that offer Lasik for ~RM3-5k for both eyes. Since Optimax seems more popular and widely located around Malaysia, I made an appointment with them. Was planning to get an eye check first but I ended up doing All-Laser-Lasik on the day itself.

*nervous*

My bf persuaded me to do it on the day itself. He said it is better to settle everything straight away. I went along with his suggestion.

This is me before my appointment for eye check (with glasses).

The clinic doesn't look as professional as Vista's. But the staff are very very friendly and calming.

The clinic.

...

Ok. I am done with the surgery. Seriously I never heard anyone said before that I will feel pain during the surgery. But I did feel the pain!! :( The laser doesn't hurt me but the vacuum thingy is so....almost unbearable. The first eye's flap was cut easily but the second eye (left) was the problem. My eye frame was too small for the vacuum to suck my eye and therefore doctor tried few times before the vacuum cylinder manage to hold my eye ball. The process was almost unendurable. :( Due to that, I have red bloody eye now. Everyone feel geli to even see my eye. Lol. Come, I let you have a sneak peak of it.

Scare leee.....

After cutting open my corneas' flaps, I am taken to another machine to laser my corneas. :p No pain at all for this process. Very fast everything get done. ~10 seconds for each eyes. All I can hear was the calming voice of the doctor and counting down by the machine. 5 4 3 2 1..... I requested for pain killer right away as I feel the burning sensation. The numbing was supposed to last 1/2 hour but I think my eyes too strong for the numbing drops.

I needed the plastic protection shields so I wont accidentally rub my eyes..

I went home and took a nap right away as my eyes was teary and cannot open at all. The next day (Sunday), I went for check up. Everything look good. Had to wear sunglasses though, to protect my eyes from foreign substances and also my eyes was still sensitive towards light.

After check up, instantly I went for shopping. :P

Ya, not to forget to thanks my bf for being so caring all along. He drives me here and there, buy food for me, fetch me to work, help me with eye drops, and more unimaginable care and help from him. :)

*beware*

Loads of my SS photos coming. :p

Finally, I got myself a real sunglasses. Never dream this day would come.

Look like a celebrity..haha..

Right now I still need to wear sunglasses everywhere I go no matter day or not. And my bf won't allow me to watch movie also. But still I am very happy. Never been so happy before. Lala, I can go snorkeling without worrying I can't see any fishes anymore. I can parasail freely. I can.......much much more.

New vision new life. Yes indeed. :)

We Are Never Alone

2011-05-09T15:23:00.001+08:00

I am truly opposed with the thinking that each of us are born as a single person or alone. We are never alone even since we are inside our mothers' wombs. Our mothers accompanied us throughout the 9 months and when we are born, our families are always with us. Therefore, we are never alone and people whom keep stressing about being alone is so selfish. They are taking everyone around them for granted. We are brought to this world along with happiness and joy for others. When we leave this world, we will not leave alone too. :)

OL Look

2011-05-04T15:15:00.001+08:00

Nothing much to do so I took a few pictures during lunch time. :p

Btw, I lost my Titus watch. Hopefully the new owner not simply throw away into dustbin la..
Good news to me also la.. Haha I can finally get a watch I really want geh.. All this time I have been getting watches as gifts but to my despair non if it is what I really like. Even after I said what I likey I still get what I don't likey. Lol. Okay, I know I should be grateful.. Lalala..

Hard to choose also :P

More casual...

Or couple watches? :D

New Phone

2011-04-28T10:15:00.000+08:00

Guess what. I threw my Blackberry. Yay. Okla not literally threw. It is now sold!!! Got myself a new phone. :D Incredible S. It is incredible but the name sounds like ASS. Haha!

Pessimistic, Trust, Lies, and Love

2011-04-22T13:35:00.003+08:00

I am always known for being a pessimistic girl. Anything that come my path, I will consider the negative effects first and then list out (in my head) or maybe telling whoever involved. :p Therefore, people tends to say I always think negative of other people or I don't trust anyone. You cannot trust someone overnight. Not like I ask you to trust me then you can trust. It takes time and lotsa effort. You gain what you give.

Lies. If there is nothing to hide why you wanna lie in the first place? Hide != Lie? Fuck it. I always heard guy say hide is not lie. Is like I don't want to tell you better than tell you otherwise and cover up with different story. What an ass. For me as soon as you think of telling lies, it means you already know you're doing something wrong/ going to do something bad. So think again before you hide/tell lies.

Oh ya, just now I watched a video about stages in relationship and I think that is a nicely made video and I believe most of us experienced/experiencing the same situation.

Relationship works both way and consist of lotsa appreciations, communication and hard work. It will went downhill if either party stop "working". Everyone is selfish. You will always think that you have done a lot and sacrifice much but actually you're just being a selfish person and crave for winning. Thats why, many people will experience stage 4 and if they manage to overcome it, happy future lo.. :)

People often ask me what do I learned from the past relationships. I can say I learned nothing but to keep quiet if you don't want to ignite an argument. Hahaha. This is lame but at least I learned how to handle a mad cow. :p My friend asked me 'Why you can move on so fast?" Ma de, mmm tong you still wan dwell in the memories of ugly past meh. Only stupid people will do that. Don't stick to something that only bring you sadness. Or I can say, thanks to the bad eggs now I have fresh chicken. :) Erm get it bo? Fresh chicken can always produce eggs (happy memories) with me but bad eggs only make me diarrhea. Hahaha. Lame. Ok.

It's Friday. Woohoo~ Going to watch Red Riding Hood tonight with my favorite person. :D Happy weekend!

What Are Words

2011-04-18T17:05:00.000+08:00

Have you watch The Notebook (2004) and A Walk to Remember (2002) before? Nice romance movies. Romantic and Sentimental.

No idea why but listening to this song reminds me of the movies. Romantic. Sentimental.

"Sometimes, when you love somebody so much, you have to let her/him go"

Seriously, fuck the above sentence. If you did leave for whatsoever reason, you broken all the promises made. You're not a hero. Just a lame ass fucker.

Okla, just curing tulang a little to emo.. :)

Reblogged from a fat penguin

2011-04-13T11:12:00.000+08:00

There is nothing quite like the feeling you get when you first realize you’ve got a crush on someone. It is often a wild mix of different emotions - on certain days, things could seem to be completely looking up and on others, the world feels like it might just be ending because she/he didn’t respond to your good night text with a smiley. You experience so much anticipation and excitement that it sometimes borders on being completely nerve-wracked. But that’s what makes the development stages of a relationship such a great story, whether it leads to one or not. Today, Fat Penguin is having one of those moments. More specifically, it’s that inexplicably pleasing feeling you get when that secret crush you’ve had for weeks (or months, maybe)finally messages you FIRST. In the very confused world of relationship-related signals, it is, in all likelihood, a green light that the person that you’ve developed such a cheesy fondness for might just feel the same way about you. We are human, after all; on some days, all we yearn for is just a little bit of affection in return! And that text can certainly make you feel that way! :D

http://afatpenguin.tumblr.com/post/4563013879/there-is-nothing-quite-like-the-feeling-you-get

Nice ya~

Not Good Enough

2011-04-13T00:14:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I feel I am not good enough.
Specially when I bring disappointment to people.
Now both party also sad.
The more I worry, the more I think I succeed in making what I worry come true.
Ok. Now no mood write bout sad things dy. :p

Note: I resigned!

Now I Know

2011-04-05T14:53:00.001+08:00

I now understand why some girls choose to only date rich guy.
To me they are not bad person.
Don't worry I won't be one of them.
Just that life is not as normal as I thought.
One's life will always be influenced by others.
Say bye bye to shopping...oh....and Lasik...
Okla finish complaining..
Bye..

The Future Will Always Surprise You

2011-03-28T16:42:00.001+08:00

The future will always surprise you, good or bad.
Just like knowing someone.
Exploring and knowing someone are not easy though sometimes is fun.
It's ok to find out things that are acceptable but what if something out of your expectation?
You know you'll have to prevent yourself from emotionally attached.
Things that are not like how you imagine it would be.
Then you will advise yourself to take a step back and observe. No longer dare to move forward.
I guess this is a normal phase most of us are going through or have been through again and again.
Work it out. If everything fails, move on.

:) crap enough. Bubye~

Going Dutch?

2011-03-24T16:30:00.000+08:00

My friend told me she knows a couple (bf n gf) that very kira bout their money. Is like everywhere they go they will practice A-A style. Even until the stage where the bf will ask the gf to pay up for the taufu fa they ate few days ago. Maybe this is not my style so I feel this is damn ridiculous. Hello? Taufu fa only cost like max RM2 in pasar malam. This also want to kira so much? *faint* I guess, maybe both of them having some sort of plan like each of them saving money for marriage? Hmm..

People always tell me there will always be a lot of issues in a couple due to money. I don't know what kind of issues because I never really experience any of it before in my previous relationships. So, I think most probably issues regarding money only happen in married couple.

I can't accept the going Dutch style. Two people being together need to kira so much. @@ I just know if both don't have money then don't go for expensive restaurants or only watch movie on Wednesday (cheap la RM6 only). If guy don't have money, then let the gf know so she won't spend your money for shopping. She can use her own money for her own shopping.

Somehow, I am a very stingy girl. lol. If everything need to pay by myself then I rela not dating and just stay at home. Because go out dating will cost a lot of money. Dating doesn't always need to be costly. I love going to zoo. Haha, Very economical right? But if I am rich I really don't mind to spend money for my love ones. Infact there are times I get them expensive gifts that I mmm seh tak to get for myself. I will feel very guilty if people spend a lot money on me. I will always think of ways to repay them (but if they are badass I won't feel guilty at all). :p

No matter what I believe everyone/ every couple got their own way of being together. Who are we to care? What I wrote here is just my own personal thinking. Not to critisize anyone. :)

Have a nice day...

Stressnyer

2011-03-23T16:59:00.000+08:00

Obviously I am not a person who can handle stress well (yea, under the influence of PMS). So, I gonna write up to de-stress.

Stress factors:
1. My bruised nose still damn pain la!!
2. PMS
3. Work
4. Lack of retail therapy

Today YJ asked me what is my favourite color. I choose Pink over Purple.
Purple is my second fav color. While, Blue is my past fav color.
From that he analyzed my personality. LOL. (he always believe in such thing, nvm, its fun)

The output from him:

People who likey pink color mostly from good family background, know how to take care of others but need someone to rely on.

People who likey purple color usually complicated because by mixing red and blue you can get purple. Red means passion while blue means cool and steady. Both are very different. Means I tersangat complicated wor. Moreover, purple is artistic color. Haha I have creativity la ni. Downside, it's very hard to trust others. I guess people have to earn their trust patiently :).

As for my sub-personality (blue), I am a great team player, polite, humble, plan before action, follow rules, very sensitive in feelings, can express what is in my mind, and not very good in social but will link with society in some other way such as through arts. Haha weaknesses are stubborn, don't like to fight, keep quite when I face stronger people therefore not telling what I am thinking and very very curious. But I can bring positivity to people around me, make people calm.

Wow, some sound very true.

Okla feel better now. :)

A Lil' Update

2011-03-21T22:15:00.000+08:00

Aku tak suka PMS
Aku tak suka Moody
Aku tak suka Tired
Aku tak suka Stress
Aku tak suka Nose Pain
:(

Different Point of View

2011-03-10T12:25:00.002+08:00

Below paragraph is taken from Yahoo!.

"The important thing to remember is your friends want to see you happy; a true friend always has your best interests at heart. However, no one knows or understands the reality of the relationship except for you and your partner, as you are the only two experiencing it. Friends are always advising on what you tell them or what they have seen, so their viewpoint is always somewhat limited. Nevertheless, this viewpoint may allow them to spot patterns in your relationship that you may not be aware of, as your friends and family are usually the people who know you best. Sometimes when we are in love, or lust, we let things slide because we are caught up in the whirlwind, and it's possible that friends are the first to rightly bring your feet back down to earth and point out certain aspects you may have missed."

A few of my friends share their relationship stories with me. Happy moments, arguments, and whatever problems they are facing. They tend to tell me how sucky their boyfriends are. How they wish they found a better guy so they can leave their boyfriends. Yea, until that extend. But 2 days later I see how different they are from the stories they told me. Is like I am seeing another couple. At that moment I realize what they told me might not be the truth. One sided story plus I don't really know what happened to them. So, I decided not to give so much advises anymore. Feel wasted. I will be a patient listener well unless they really need my help.
Sometimes, the situation is so underivable. What should I do if my friend come crying to me almost everyday? What should I do when I can see my friend is not happy at all? The symptoms are damn obvious but as a friend should you really tell her he is not a good guy? I don't want to be one of the reason for their break up but my heart is pain when I see my friend suffer. What to do? Yeah, I think I will support whatever she is doing and hope she finds her way out.

Today, I asked my friend if you are hurt the first time and second time and the third time. Will you continue the expedition and risk being hurt just to find happiness? Well, as long as you are happy it is worth taking the risk and feel scare. You will learn a lot along the way. Never ever give up trying. If everything is predictable then there will be no excitement. :)

Then I asked another question. :P What will you do if a third party coming your way and your bf is indecisive? If me I will just leave. What for fight for some useless guy who can't decise who he loves right? If the person love you, there's no chance the third person will become the third party at all. My friend also think alike. I guess we just don't like to rebut with people ya? :p (in this case "don't give up" is not applicable) Weighing whether someone is worth or not is so damn easy but taking action require lotsa courage.

Haha. I made my friend worried bout me. >.< She thought I am having problems but I am not. I just think a lot. Maybe I am too free.

Question of the day:
Am I charming/amazing enough to make ppl crazy for me?
YES! (saje to boost my confident level :p)

*Haha cause my friend told me I have many stalkers. Even gals.

When I am Bored

2011-03-10T10:22:00.002+08:00

:D this is what I do when I am bored.

Sudden Need

2011-03-08T16:12:00.001+08:00

Short update:

My player is playing those songs I used to dance to in club.
Okie. Officially miss clubbing right now.
I am not old yet.
I am not old yet.
I am not old yet!!

Girl I can't notice but to
notice you
noticin me
from across the room
I can see it and cant stop myself from lookin
and noticin you noticin me
watch out I've seen her type before
That girl is so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl
I've seen her type before she's so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl [yeah]

somebody call 911

shawty fire burning on the dance floor,whoa,
i gotta cool her down she will bring the roof to ground on the dance floor, whoa.

she's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,
that little shawty fire burning on the dance floor,she fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor, that little shawty fire burning on the dance floor.

OMG! I just realized I have not been to any party for AGES!! Life's dull yea???
Ong Vei See faster come back and party with me!! :P

Being discreet

2011-03-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

I love being discreet. But I love being indiscreet as well. So how?

Being discreet means I don't need to explain much to others. I don't need to disclose my privacy. I don't need to accept critisism/comment. I won't be bothered. I don't need to answer questions that are thrown to me. Peace.Happy.Quiet.

Being indiscreet means I have to entertain people. Judged by people. Where? When? Why? Which? Who? Bla.. Curiosity kills.

Maybe I am the kind that think a lot. Always predict what will happened, good or bad. I will think of all possible answers.

Anyhow, thanks to everyone who truly supporting me and those who super 8 pls fuck off.

I don't know why I cried.

2011-02-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

While driving home from work today, I cried. Yah! Alone in the car with traffic jam. Then I realised this is not the first time I cried in the car alone while driving home from work. Why? I don't know. >.< Is it I feel stress as I have to work till 8pm-9pm? Or I hate driving? Or I sad cause I always follow the wrong route? Just feel nice to cry. Haha. Cry baby.

Actually, I kinda miss my old life. Work from 9am-5.30pm. Gym/Swimming pool after work. And I got plenty of time for movies at night. I keep convincing myself that now is better. Like my friend said, no money no life. I am earning more now compare to my last job. And I feel empty. Long hours job occupies my time. But somehow I feel like I am missing something. Vacation maybe? There must be a reason right? To earn money for living and to enjoy. I don't know which path to follow. Spend some money for vacations and leisures or just save save save and save so I have better future as in properties. I saw a website about travel + volunteer to save environment. Wow, interesting right? You can go to South Africa, Kenya, and a lot more countries and help to care for wildlife. So so so so nice. Guess what? To be a volunteer you need to be rich too. =.= For one week travel and volunteer job you need to pay around RM3k++. =.= All also money money money. So sien.

Aiyo. I don't know why I rant so much lately!! Grrr.............

A piece of memory (or more)

2011-02-22T09:14:00.001+08:00

While driving to work just now I recalled a small piece of memory of when I was in primary school. Roughly around standard 2 or 3. Couldn't remember clearly. We love to help teachers with everything. Usually we will sit around the stairs waiting for our teachers to arrive and we will run over to our teachers and help them carry stuff (books, paper, bags). There was this one day when me and my friends saw a lady teacher driving into the car park. We race to her car (she not even park her car yet) because we knew she has a lot of books in her car waiting for us to carry. When she successfully parked her car I try to move to her door and guess what? I couldn't move. MY TINY FEET WAS STUCKED UNDER THE TYRE!!! fml. lol. Nobody aware bout it. =.= I shouted a few times for help HELP HELP!. When the teacher saw me she was so worried. She moved her car so I can be freed. She applied some iodin on my feet. IODIN?!! Lol I have no scar nor any injury so why IODIN????!!! Hahahahaha... Oh well, I got to skip the perhimpunan pagi.

The picture of my class (pre-school). Find me find me.. Haha I am a nuisance too when I was in pre-school. I bullied my friends a lot. I scolded a girl cause she was so noisy and crying. I pinched my friends. I hide in toilet during classes to play with water.. lol...

Argh, get back to work first..

How annoying people can be??

2011-02-20T18:48:00.001+08:00

It's so annoying when people repeat the same questions in on conversation even after I answered clearly the first time. If you want to talk to me please pay attention to what I am saying or else you will just make me feel sick of you. I will lose my intention to even have future conversation with you.

It's so annoying when people keep ask me why I am sad or frustrated when clearly I don't want to talk about it or my problems are solved. From my point of view, if you care about me you should care about my well being instead of my problems since I know you can't help me in anyway. I dislike people keep bugging me cause it's kinda like forcing me. :(

It's annoying when people keep assume I have boyfriend or many admirers. Worst is when people ask me some questions that my answers will reveal I have boyfriend/admirers or not. So here I want to tell all those curious people I do not have boyfriend. No, I do not have admirers, well not that I know of. I am happy people thought I am so hot in the market but sorry I'm not. Please don't ask me questions like "Going to a movie with bf?", "Going out with your admirer?", or "Your status/post shows you have many admirers wor.". I am a lady with high confident level but please don't make me sad/spoil my market. lol.

It's annoying when people tell me I'm fat. Don't you think I don't know about my own condition? Hello? I see myself naked every day and night ok? Well, actually I am not that fat also. My weight is ideal and normal for a girl with 162cm height. I can't help it if I have the gene of big arms and big thighs from my parents. It's Asian guys' mindset that a girl should be tiny, cute, skinny, small waist and long black hair. Fuck you all. Apparently I am not in the category. I am not tiny, I am not cute, I don't have uber small waist, I don't have long hair, I'm chubby and ya I have ugly feet. So leave me alone if you don't like all these characteristics. I have seen a lot couples (1 fat and 1 thin). I truly admire them. They make me feel love is unconditional. You love people because of their hearts and not outlook. Bravo to them. :)

It's annoying when I have to drive. I hate driving so much. :( Haih. Think of driving to work also sien because my company moved to Mont Kiara dy. It's so far!! Argh.

It's annoying when the guy I like doesn't like me back like that. (Okla this is just kidding). Haha. I have to stop writing bout annoying things. Despite all annoying moments, I am consider lucky as there will always be a friend by my side when I needed one. :)

Numb

2011-02-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

I never thought I will feel this numb. Like an empty robot. Wanders around with no purpose. My life is so quiet. I need to find someone I can share everything. Beware! I will talk a lot. Everyday. :). If you're not interested, don't act like you are. I need someone I can trust.

Argh. Lately, my responsibility doesn't seem interesting. So down, so same, so plain, and so flat. How they cope with it? Thinking positive all the time? I am so envy because I can't do that. I need to find smtg I love to do.

Now, energyless. Lifeless. Purposeless. Sleepy. Nite.

Reminisence of the past.

2011-01-21T21:37:00.004+08:00

I was once involved in a committed relationship that turned into not committed relationship.

This happened when the guy doesn’t know what he wants and I adapted / tried to adapt to every changes he proposed.

He brought me into fairytales. Talking bout OUR future, family, home, and career together. Soon after, I am told he doesn’t want to look into the future of relationship. He wants to focus on career but he loves me. I guess in another words, he doesn’t want committed relationship. I went along with it thinking that I don’t want all that for now. I am still young for so much things.

Then I realized it is not as easy as I thought it would be. Being together but have no plans together was like hell. Like having a relationship in hell. I have to restrain myself from discussing what I want in future (family, kids, house, dog) because I am scared he doesn’t think I am same page as him. I need to swallow everything when he told me bout his future-exclude-me. I cannot be myself. I acted like I don’t give a damn bout the relationship or our future together. I worried bout him leaving me, yea this happens when the guy treat you like a thing. A thing that he leaves behind when he moved into a new house. Sometimes, I think I should have confident in myself but I feel so alone in this. Nobody gonna understand because no one is going to agree with be involving in this relationship.

I am surprised how I can went through all that and feel happy. He was so dedicated to me in away that I lost track once awhile. Everything bout us was so damn real like a long-term relationship well except he never had any plans bout us.

The end finally came and what I worried the most did happened. After break up, he still said how much he misses me and stuff like that. But I feel nothing matters anymore. He made me believe that I have a chance but he took it away just like that.

I have no say I am in no position to decide. I lose this game since the beginning.

Now when I think back, I realized I lose faith in him since he told me “No plan for us,we kin bou hang bou.” I am relieved. This is the past but having a little heartache is normal right? All I can say is I don’t love you like I did anymore. You don’t worth it.

Seems ages ago. But I know someone will come and build a new day new future with me and I will do the same. :)

Overly Sad Symptoms

2011-01-06T03:46:00.001+08:00

diarrhea
vomit
migrain
tears
shivers

Yeap, I have all of them. Luckily plastic bag was nearby. Vomit after had a panadol was a bad experience.I guess I wont be blogging for awhile. Bye.

Before I Die

2011-01-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

Before I die...

Be rich
Visit 3rd world countries and buy them food and donate computers to schools
Visit Disneyland
Visit US, Niagra Fall
Visit Venice
Visit Greece
Get married at least once
Build my dream home
Make at least 1 baby
Donate half my liver to someone who needed
Skydiving
Sail through great seas (not anywhere near japan cause they kill whale)
Confess to the guy I admire (if I am single)
Lesbian sex (if sudden realisation that I am gay)
Ride on world great roller coasters
Kill all the guy that hurt me before (careful dudes)
To be continued...

Gloomy~

2011-01-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

No one should have any responsibility towards me. Not even my parents. Well, maybe my future husband. But I don't have him yet. I am responsible to myself. No one else should. I am independent but I want to be even more independent. Relying on others is never good. Just like how most girls hope to find a rich bf and rely on them. It's fun at the beginning. You get what you want. Fancy dinner. Luxurious vacations. Then what? When you get older you realise this is not what you want. Yea, when you're older its the guy's turn to find a younger gf. What are you then? Like how you gave the guy everything in the end, you're just an option. What to do then? Yea, prepare another road for just in case I am an option. Prepare yourself.

Sometimes, engaging in something without plan isn't that good. I don't like to be a carefree person. I tried but I will have doubts for awhile. Having plans is really a good thing. Like how I said I want to have LASIK in this year. I will work harder for it. I feel pointless without a goal. I feel lifeless. I feel like it ain't going anywhere and why should I work for something I can't see or plan the ending. At least if I failed, I know what I failed to do. I don't want to fail doing something I don't even know what I am doing. It's so pathetic.

I know. It is fun to anticipate something without knowing the outcome. But this doesn't apply to everything. Maybe it can be applied to the Disneyland trip I wish I can plan. Lol. Like I dunno how high is the roller coaster. Yea, small stuff like that is best remain unknown.

I am really happy right now. I just have a bad feeling. I don't wish to fail without knowing why I do it the first place. There must be at least a reason to do something right? Even the act of kindness also have a reason. To make other people happy. I wish I know why I am doing everything. I wish I can see some of the future and not hanging here. I am not alone.

Near Year is coming????!!

2010-12-14T00:16:00.027+08:00

It's time for new year resolutions. Woohooo~

First, I wanna have good health so I can enjoy what I earn and what I deserve. The same to my family and my love ones. I wanna earn much more so I can buy stuff for people I love. This will definitely make me very very happy girl.Then I wanna get myself a nice handbag. All these while I've been using something brand-less, something easily spoilt, something childish, something that doesn't match me. I used to only take bags which my mom doesn't like or not using anymore. I used to buy affordable price bag from Sg Wang Rm20 (ppl said this bag is childish), RM50 (with 50% discount) and RM80 (for work) in my whole 24 years of life. Yah, I only bought myself 3 bags in that 24 years. So I want a handbag that I really own, that is meant for me, that shows who I am. I think handbag kinda bring out the image of the woman other than clothing. Though sometimes really envy what other women have. :P Thats why, right now I am determined to save money and get myself a real nice one.

Next, I wanna get myself a LASIK treatment. I am sick of wearing spectacle. I don't look good wearing spec. Ya, you will say why not get yourself a pair of contact lenses? FUCK YOU. I have done hearing people asking me this because I am sick of answering same answer again and again. MY EYES are god damn sensitive. NON of all the available brands suit me. NON. DO YOU READ ME? Ok. Sorry I am a bit over reacted but I am really sick of answering the same thing again and again. I wan better eyesight. I dunwan spec. Imagine when I am wearing dinner gown I wanna look pretty but I have to wear spec because I cant wear any contact lenses. FUCK RIGHT? Haih. No one can understand my frustration.

Next next, I wanna change my whole wardrobe. 1/2 my wardrobe consists of clothing that doesn't suit me but I am forced to wear because I have no other clothes. @@ Haha you can't believe it right? I've been eyeing on so many dresses but too stingy to buy any of them. Lame ass la me. In the end I bought lousy cheap dresses that look bad on me. Padan muka.

I have many things to achieve but not in short period. So many things can't fit in next year resolutions.

To be continued la when I think of something else.

I am proud of myself.

2010-12-07T15:54:00.002+08:00

Lotsa time when I am sad, I reminded myself how lucky I am compare to many unfortunate people. I got a good job. I do not need to rely on my parents anymore. When I am lonely I have friends to accompany me to karaoke session or movie. I always think that god is fair. He never created any human that is 100 % perfect. I am given a beautiful face and cleverness. But I don have perfect eyesight nor perfect figure (ok I think this has nothing to do with god. Blame myself for eating too much. =.=). I might not have many friends around me but I know they always care for me. I have parents that love each other and me. I always feel my mom is a fortunate mother cause she has my dad. My dad is not like those men that need wife to "fok si" every min. My dad help mom to cook, do the dishes and laundry and even clean the house. I wish I can find a man that is so responsible like my dad. See, my life is great and now I earn enough to shop a little (not like how I used to be, I never shop for month because I was poor). Eh not that I am rich now. I just earning enough to support my life. Okla. Car is done. Handsome black knight again. Bye.

Pooff And Gone

2010-12-02T18:29:00.002+08:00

Today, I realised happiness can come and go just like that. No one can hold on to happiness forever. You can feel happy for a day or two then suddenly something bad came up and ruined your happiness not forever at least for awhile. I guess happiness need a break too. Just like human. Either being too busy or lonely, we need a break from that. How will we appreciate happiness if sadness doesn't exist right? We won't even know what is happiness.

I was so so happy. But now I am not. :( My life is always bothered by stupid annoying people. Leave me alone as it is. Though I am not a celebrity or a model, I dy understand how is their life. I can imagine it all. Being a plain me dy can have so many kepo lang kacau kali. @@ Argh,

Tmr is Friday. I should be happy. Yah~ End of emo post. Bye!

Sick Girl Talking

2010-11-30T20:16:00.002+08:00

I am living in denial. Can't believe I fell sick again. Twice in a month. @@ I guess my new job really straining me or I can say I still haven't get used to the changes. Will need some time to adjust.

I read an article a few weeks back. Part of the content was the first child will most likely date the youngest child because the first child used to take care of the siblings and the youngest child used to be taken care of (not incest, both from different families of course!). I totally disagree. As the eldest child myself, believe it or not I don't find a bf because I want to take care of him my whole life. @@ Imagine this. I taken care of myself and my brothers since I am 10 years old. Means I am forced to be independent at young age. Then now I am out here, far away from family, renting a room and working in the big city alone. Oh my god. Can I say I am tired of taking care myself????? Ya, I am tired of this. How am I possible to take care of a bf just like how I take care of my brothers? From what I heard from aunties, they took care and obeyed their husbands like they are kings. =.= I don't think I can do that. I can't fully committed to take care of others.

Reciprocal. Yah, I need the relation to be two ways. There is no such thing as needing your bf always. How do you define always? Meet him everyday?? Meet him once a week?? Meet him once a month?? @@ I wish when I am sick I don't have to dangerously drive to see doctor myself. I wish that when I met an accident, someone can come and "rescue" me. Argh just wishes. I hope I don't need to have to love like the auntie. Sacrifice so much, until she was diagnosed with cancer, husband only realised what she did for him and the family for the past 30++ years. Haha, I can't imagine my life, suffer for 50 years then only get to have the "happy" life for 10 years then die of old age.

I know reality is different. Everything is different. Grass is always greener on the other side. But when you actually go there, you will realised its not as green as you think it is.

Argh, beh tahan. Feel so tired and sick. Hope I am OK tmr. I am still in denial. Don't want to see doctor. :(

Need to do some chores. Bye.

Rapunzel A Tangled Tale

2010-11-30T08:50:00.004+08:00

I love this movie so much.
Funny, lovable, cute, and filled with so many emotions.
LOL I like Pascal so muchie.

And did you know the director is so freaking handsome???
Watch the interview here.

2 Years Later

2010-11-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

I don't know where I am in 2 years time. I might lose what I am having now. Ya, I am scare of this. But I am eager to gain something new. Just maybe some changes in my life. Something for me to look forward to. Something to plan like a major trip to visit whole US, or get a more challenging job and be a more significant employee, or planning my own wedding, nah I am more eager to be a bridesmaid now. LOL dreamt of my friend getting married for a few times dy. Haha if she did get married next year I can be bridesmaid dy. Woohoo~ Somehow, when people ask me what I want in my future, I don't know how to answer. Actually, it's so simple. I just want to be someone significant. I don't want to be a career woman nor a housewife. I want to be all. I don't crave for being the top of everything. But I just want to be a part of everything. Ya, this is what I see as successful. I don't need to be a CEO or drive 7 series BMW. I just want a simple life where I earn enough for my life my family and my leisure. And when time comes I want to have at least 3 or 4 beautiful kids as a normal family. Haha, some people might say I am not ambitious enough. But I think they just don't realise having all these is not easy. Being the woman behind a successful man is even harder. Life is hard for a woman.

@@ Almost everything is cause by our women's instinct. Hard to control and that's why we are easily manipulated by the guys we love. Many people don't understand this. Like how a childless woman will never understand what is mother's instinct. Like how a guy never understand what women can do for their men. Rant enough.. Nite.

I Love The Way You Lie

2010-11-18T00:40:00.005+08:00

I understand everyone have different wants and needs and ambitions in their lifes. Who am I to stop what others want. When I made the decision, I catered for this already. Maybe in some occasion I will cry but that's alright. Expected. :) I also know it's hard to be someone significant to others. Gave up searching temporarily. Haha. Well, I just don't believe so much anymore. Why should I fear of losing everything when I don't have everything yet? So, try not to envy others. It's ok.

Everything I have now is just temporary. Or I can say, it's the prologue of a very thick book. It's a happy beginning, perfect and I love everything. But read on then you will know the complications, climax and the end. Sorry because I don't know the end yet. Maybe I should prepare for the worst. So then I can accept my fate. More easily. Argh, the more I force myself to think of the worst, the more I feel like ignoring. What's the point of hope?? More hope more disappointment. I don't want to think anymore. Let it be. I will handle it when it comes. Trying to live my life happily for now and not future. Future will come and I will figure out then.

I am still me. Don't worry. I know what I am doing.

Listening to Love The Way You Lie Part 2 while writing this post. Repeat and repeat. Emo song but really like it. :)

p/s: when there's no more reason for someone to stay, they will go away. so if you wish someone to stay longer, don't asked for the reason why they stay. they stay because they want to ♥

Life As We Know It

2010-11-15T23:04:00.003+08:00

I know the truth is evil. I always know human are actually using each other to survive. You see, during our "schooling" period, we have friends. We go out together. Have fun together. Dress each other up for prom. Stay up late together to do our assignments. We borrow each other our shoulders to cry on. Yea, then after we graduate, "friends" seem so far away. We slowly put our friends behind and move on with our life. New working life. Maybe get ourselves a new gf or bf. Eventually, we don't need our friends anymore as we have new colleagues, new friends and new companion.

So what if you're in a relationship? You don't think both of you are using each other as well? You don't plan for your future right away. You take your time to get to know him or her. And then what? Use each other companionship for few years. Ops, found a new and more interesting person. Say bye bye and thanks to the old one for their time and memories. Or maybe you will choose material (money) and dump the person who been through ups and downs with you. Yea, this is life.

blablabla....not interested to write bout how selfish human are anymore...

Tired...
How I wish I am a guy. Having a gf/mom that wash and iron my formal wear. Gf to tie my tie nicely. Prepare breakfast and dinner for me. Argh!!! Feel so tired for cooking, wash clothes with bare hands, bath, eat, hang clothes to dry and rest after reach home from work at 9.30pm.... @@

Bout Me

2010-11-13T00:01:00.003+08:00

Random entry.
I feel fat.
I am craving for Sushi Zanmai.
I feel thirsty.
I wanna buy something to pamper myself but I don't know what to buy.
I wish to be rich.
I wanna buy jackpot (my colleague teach me one :P) but my area doesn't have TOTO shop.
I am tired but I don't want to sleep yet.

I hate anykind of politics, in school, work or even country.

I hate bad people with black heart.

I hate sharing internet. @.@ rather pay a lot more than sharing.

I love zombies and dinosaurs.

I wish to die in "the end of the world" or zombies outbreak rather than any other ways.
I wanna go Cameron HIghland too. SO big girl never been there never tried the jagung. @@

The end for now. Bye

Great Weekend

2010-11-07T22:01:00.001+08:00

Had a very nice weekend. Visited grandma and grandpa. They look so happy when I arrived. Grandma remembers all my favourite food and cooked for me. Gosh. She has good memory!

The Kind Of Girl I'm Always Scare Of

2010-11-03T15:17:00.001+08:00

Okay I am still a little tipsy now while writing this entry caused by those medicines I took.

This entry is written based on my experiences.

So, there are so so many kinds of people in this world but right now I am very scare of only one kind of girl. Guess what? Is those innocent looking kind of girl. For me they have the most evil heart amongst others.

Their characteristics are looking innocent, weak as in easily bullied by others, need attention, flirt/"teh" to get their job done by guys and need for protection. Ya, they often pretend to be so weak that they need protection so much specially from guys. I guess beta male will always fall for such kind of girls.

I was once accused of bullying such girl. WTF. All the while I am avoiding her in the end I am accused of bullying her and almost made her cry. @@ Imagine that. I should elaborate too much on this here. If you wanna know my story you can PM me anyway. Seriously, deep inside their heart, they have so many evil plans planning ahead. It's just the matter of time for executing those plans.

I've seen so many guys being a fool, fooled by such girls. Lol. I remember during my university time. There was this girl who are exactly like what I mentioned above. Well, she is even more evil. Cheating guys, one leg a few ships and will just go around with whatever rich guys coming her way. Oh, my innocent girl friend was victimized by her. Even get scolded for something she did not do. Long story to be shortened, so many stupid guys still think she is the angel. So pure and innocent that she is not capable of doing stuff I mentioned above. See how stupid guys are??? Open your eyes wider and you will see I am talking about. But I guess those girls only target girls that are on their way. So, I am the one should take precaution instead of guys. @@

Anyhow, guys, be more alert. Try to be the alpha male rather than the beta male. And girls, try not to do bad stuff as you know KARMA is everywhere. For those girls who are not evil, take care and avoid such girl ya..

I am tired... Good to sleep again... Bye~

p/s: one of their obvious characteristics is FOR EXAMPLE when they met a group of new friends (guys and girls) they will have all the time to search and add GUYS as FRIEND IN FACEBOOK and for girls..hmm...maybe later~

Am I Annoying?

2010-11-01T20:01:00.001+08:00

I said I will have a nice sleep last night. But.. I had a terrible night. @@ No idea why. And now I am sick. Blame the lame weather. Hot and cold. I hate it. Worst, I bought 2 yucky breads. :( Why on earth they have black pepper inside the bread. Sigh.

Sigh. Am I annoying? I feel some people feel I am annoying. Maybe I should talk lesser from now on. :( Or maybe my voice really annoying? Oh gosh. I really have no idea. Enlighten me please.

Tired. Watch a drama or two and I shall sleep.

I want to be pampered too! :P

2010-10-25T08:38:00.002+08:00

As much as I love being independent, I hate it as well. Being independent give people a perception that I am strong and capable of handling everything myself.

Hello?! I still cannot carry heavy stuff. I still need guys to be gentlemen and open the door for me.Ya, I want to be treated like a girl.

Imagine you're in a relationship. The guy knows you are independent. So automatically he assumed you can handle yourself well. From little thing till big thing. So, he wont give you this small little attentions you needed. From getting a candles to buying you lunch when you are alone at home. He assumed you can settle it yourself. Sucks right?

I am independent. I can handle most of the thing myself or get help from the right people. But sometimes, it feels nice to have such attentions. Being well treated and pampered. Awwww~

Enjoy my Starbucks's Cafe Americano now~ Need to recharge for my lack of sleep~

Sudden Urge

2010-10-25T00:15:00.001+08:00

Suddenly I have this urge to list down my favourite milk @@

1. Full Cream Milk - Dutch Lady
2. Chocolate Milk - Marigold
3. Low Fat Milk -Nestle (this is superb! the best low fat milk I ever tasted!)

I missed so many movies lately. Here is the list of movies I wanna watch. Who would be so kind to teman me ha?

1. You Again
2. ~~Life As We Know It~~ (I ♥ Katherine Heigl)
3. Eat Pray Love
4. Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls of Ga'hoole (many said this is nice)
5. The Hole (gonna take down from screening soon.. :( )

Coming soon:
6. Adele: Rise of The Mummy
7. Let Me In (horror...woohoo)
8. Harry Potter and The Deadly Hallows: Part 1
9. Rapunzel

Okla, thats it for now. Let me know if you are interested. :P

Saw this note on FB

2010-10-24T20:42:00.002+08:00

据说有这样一种男人

朦胧醒来回你信息。
半夜里接你的电话。
告诉你——到家了就发消息给他。
你半夜睡不着发消息给他,他会陪你聊天。
睡得比你迟一点，醒来早一点。
雨天,同撑一把伞,他衣服的一半是湿的。
不论走到哪里，都一直拉着你的手。
愿意吃你吃不下的东西。
从来不迟到，你迟到他不会生气。
不论去哪里，他都会来接你，无怨无悔。
善解人意。
温柔细心。
言而有信。
不乱花钱，但肯为你花钱。
拥抱很久，很紧。
接吻很深，很认真。
记得你说过的所有事。
轻轻拧开你拧不开的汽水瓶。
常常发消息告诉你。突然很想你。
告诉所有人。你是他的宝贝。
常常给你留言。
不舒服时，他会很担心很着急。
常常帮助别人，不为什么。
答应你，永远不，然后永远不。
吵架时不会一走了之。
他错了会认错，你错了不会怪你。
吵架后，会无条件地哄你，放下面子。
从不忍心责备你，无条件包容你。
会一直保护你，害怕你受一点点委屈。
你说笑话他会笑，会觉得你很可爱。
比你高。
侧面很好看，但从不自恋。
会一个人安静地思考，但决不冷漠。
许多方面都很厉害，让你崇拜。
会一直夸你，给你鼓励。
不骄傲自满，不对你隐瞒什么，百分百信任你，不花言巧语。
与人争议时，听上去像是解释。
认识他每一天都可以回忆。
不会因为玩游戏而忽略你。
孝顺父母。尽量少抽烟少喝酒。
有活动安排事先和你打招呼。
和朋友出去时，要想着你。
重大的事情和你商量。
和大人在一起像大人，和孩子在一起像孩子。
喜欢你，从未犹豫，不拿你和别的女孩子比较。
从未想过离开你的世界。你买给他的东西他都会喜欢。
身上的味道很好闻。对女孩子有风度，也有距离。
认识你的一些好朋友，拜托她们照顾你。
了解你的烦恼与困惑，不厌其烦地倾听。
很少让你哭，你哭的时候会很心疼，紧紧地抱住你，告诉你都是他的错。
很少叹气，积极面对人生。
可以随时找到他。
靠在他肩膀的时候很安心。
和他在一起有种温暖的感觉。
不重色轻友，也不重友轻色。
计划的未来里，你是重要的一部分。
请珍惜！

I don't agree such guy exist anymore.
Non of my exs have more than 5 of above descriptions. (I guess that's why they are my exs)
My friends always say I have high expectation towards guy.
Haha after reading this I know I don't.

Summary for now...

2010-10-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

I want to talk bout so many things but I can't. :(

I want the annoying fella won't be so annoying anymore.

I missed so many movies as I no longer have movie day.

I am tired.

I feel like crying (yea I do feel this for no reason...).

I hope my grandpa's sickness go far away but I know it is meant to stay. :'(

I miss you, you, you, and you.

I envy others (for something I can't have right now even if I'm a billionaire).

I wish sometimes people will care more about me than keep on telling me bout themselves.

The Guys

2010-09-26T17:42:00.003+08:00

My first date when it little like this...ah ha....

Oh well, throughout my 24 years of life I went through a lot of first dates. Surprisingly, most of it went really bad, sucky and irritating. You know? I even keep a list of names of the guys that tried to woo me or dated me before. Haha...P&C!

I will briefly go through my story with different guys (aww....this sentence sounds misleading...)

During my lower form, I was in an all girl school. The only chance I can see guys was during my tuition classes. I remember this guy from my science tuition class tried very hard to get a date with me. I was in a mall and he followed me around begging me to go on a date with him. He even bribed my brother to get my phone numbers. Wah, my first encounter with guy. @@ I was so innocent back then that I really don't know how to handle such thing. After my rejection I didn't talk to him for years and when we did actually talked, we became close friend. Haih, but it didn't last long cause I believe he is happily in heaven now.

Then there was this guy I get to know through internet (MIRC was so popular back then. LOL). We became good "phone friends". I guess maybe cause I'm always there to console him (family problems). After many years, we finally met. Mana tahu, he confessed his love to me. @@ While driving holding my hand don't want let me go. WTF! You really think like that can make me be your gf meh. Sigh. After rejection, he still keep on pursue me. Sent me medicine through courier and all kind of stuff. When I got really sick of him bugging me I turn into a Godzilla. LOL. Lost my patient and scolded him. Mana tahu, tak jadi jugak. So, I ignored him. Then he lied to me bout him having gf so I wont ignore him anymore. Childish. Lame. Still, I ignore him until today and still goes on.

Then there was this other guy. We went on first date. I got to know his friends and he introduced me as his GF!! Wtf is that?? Why guys get so desperate?? This is just first date and the date just went on for few hours and he introduced me as his GF!!! I never speak to him anymore from that day onwards.

Another guy was my friend's ex. He tried to date me even when he is still dating a girl. There was this one day, he brought me and my friend out and surprisingly he brought his gf along. I have no idea why his gf look like charcoal at that moment but after the outing my friend told me the girl was angry at me. Cause apparently the guy tried to break up with her because of me and well she knew who I am. @@ I am so lucky I didn't get beaten on that day. Well, I hated this guy because there was a time he almost broken me and my friend's relationship. Sucks huh?! He even made up LOTSA HEROIC STORIES of himself. *vomit*

Few month a ago, a guy tried to get me to be his gf. Promising me this and that. For example, like come to KL and find me, or bring me to somewhere for birthday or get me something but guess what?? Cakap kosong jer la. At some point, I almost accepted him. I think is because I am just dropped from my previous relationship not long and he sounded promising. But luckily, I woke up and I said NO. Haha. I know well, don't fall for a guy that ask you to be his gf through sms even though he asked the question before (face to face). He is a bad case of "high promising but inside kosong" guy. Well, he is not the only one I encountered with such case. A few more la. Some say will wait for me and bla bla bla....

The last guy I want to write about is this 29 years old guy. He said he want to be my friend. Just genuinely friend. But who knows, he was searching for a wife. Kept telling me if I be his wife, he can support my everything pay for my everything. When I rejected him, he still treated me very good. He said he just have the intention to be my friend. Guess what??? This stupid fella still hoping I will marry him. WTF? Want search for wife go far far la. I don't marry cause I want people to support me. Moreover, I don't think you're any handsome at all. @@ Kept telling me how ppl say he is handsome. Again *vomit*. Then never mind. He blocked me on FB cause I complained bout him spamming everyone's wall. Then my friend told me he kept posting "In a relationship" status in FB. Then I saw his status. He purposely unblocked me and repost the status so I can see it. @@ Lame and childish. LOL I even saw his friend complained that he kept posting the status again and again. Haha such a wuss~

Okla, I should stop now. If you wan to continue to write in depth, I think I can write a whole book about this topic. I just know that I learn a lot from all the experiences. Girls, don't ever trust a guy who only communicate with you through sms or phone calls. It's never enough to get to know a person that way. I saw many of my friends fallen for the "sms guy" and things didn't turn out good. Just becareful.

p/s: I have no intention to bad mouth anyone. This is just based on my experiences. I get to know some really great friends when dating didn't turn out to be successful. :P

You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

2010-09-21T00:59:00.011+08:00

You'll never find, as long as you live
Someone who loves you tender like I do
You'll never find, no matter where you search
Someone who cares about you the way I do

Whoa, I'm not braggin' on myself, baby
But I'm the one who loves you
And there's no one else! No one else!

You'll never find, it'll take the end of all time
Someone to understand you like I do
You'll never find the rhythm, the rhyme
All the magic we shared, just us two

Whoa, I'm not tryin' to make you stay, baby
But I know some how, some day, some way
You are (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss, you're gonna miss my lo-o-ove

Late in the midnight hour, baby (you're gonna miss my lovin')
When it's cold outside (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss, you're gonna miss my lo-o-ove

You'll never find another love like mine
Someone who needs you like I do
You'll never see what you've found in me
You'll keep searching and searching your whole life through

Whoa, I don't wish you no bad luck, baby
But there's no ifs and buts or maybes

(You're gonna) You're gonna miss (miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
I know you're gonna my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss, you're gonna miss my lo-o-ove

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh (you're gonna miss my lovin')
Late in the midnight hour, baby (you're gonna miss my lovin')
When it gets real cold outside (you're gonna miss my lovin')
I know, I know that you are gonna miss my lo-o-ove

Let me tell you that you're gonna miss my lovin'
Yes you will, baby (you're gonna miss my lovin')
When I'm long gone

I know, I know, I know that you are gonna miss

Btw, Happy Mid-Autumn Festival. Too bad I'm not in Kuantan. No dinner with family and cant go TC Beach play candles. Miss old days. :(

I'm Sorry

2010-09-20T23:54:00.026+08:00

Sorry seems to be the hardest word. It's just a word. Harmless and innocent. But people tend to take is as a threat. I often say sorry when I realized I'm wrong. I adore "sorry" because how this word soothes others feeling maybe just a little it's more than enough. In many occasions, I said sorry to my friends even it's not my fault. I understand how the friendships are more valuable than my pride. Eh, think of it I never thought that saying sorry will means degrading own pride. Saying sorry makes me feel stronger. Makes me feel I am someone responsible.

Despite how strong the sorry word is, some people just couldn't utter it loudly. Sometimes, in some arguments I said sorry because I know part of it was my fault. Well, it takes two for argument to happen doesn't it? The sad part is the other person never wanted to say sorry or even trying to make the situation better. Haih I hate arguments. I never like when argument turns into a competition about winning or losing. After all, we are just arguing what is right and wrong and not who should win.

Or maybe I'm too demanding? After I said I'm sorry I wish the other person do the same too. Cause I truly believe sorry is a very good word. I am willing to say I'm sorry even it's not my fault just for the sake of friendship/relationship. Why others can't do it? Is it the pride more valuable than the friendship/relationship they might lose? Or is it I'm not a valuable friend or maybe I'm not a valuable gf? Haha, sometimes I just don't know where I stand anymore in every part of my life. It's just tiring when you're alone working out everything when the fact is we should work it out together. I know for sure I should never be alone in friendship/relationship but why I feel so alone when problem arise? Why nobody trying to solve problems with me?

Once again, is it winning so important? Or is it you're too stubborn to think about what went wrong and what you can do to make it better? For better or worse. Really? Really got people willing to go through "better or worse" with another person??

And I felt sorry, and I have felt bad about what happened. Monica Lewinsky

Maybe you all should remember this. Saying sorry doesn't mean you're taking the blame. Saying sorry doesn't mean you're losing. A brave man with dignity cheers for the word "sorry". A true man will embrace the word "sorry" and endure the consequences. And a genuine man will know to make situation better, he will be willingly saying "I'm sorry". I say sorry for the situation caused but I will never allow people to blame me for something I didn't do. Haha how I wish people will think before start accusing.

"Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"

(Sorry seems to be the hardest word)

What I got to do to make you love me?

What I got to do to make you care?

What do I do when lightning strikes me?

And I wake to find that you're not there?

What I got to do to make you want me?

What I got to do to be heard?

What do I say when it's all over?

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

It's sad, so sad

It's a sad, sad situation.

And it's getting more and more absurd.

It's sad, so sad

Why can't we talk it over?

Oh it seems to me

That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

...

Weird but somehow I wish someone sing this to me. Haha. Okla. Truth to be told. I am craving for the word "sorry". It sucks when your efforts are not recognized or appreciated.

You know ma? I've been telling myself not to do anything to harm all the good things I'm having right now. But, what if the thing I thought is good turns out to be the other way round? I live with a goal in my life. What if the goal is just a lie??? Like this song. Suddenly I feel like a lost child. Haha~ How to get sleeping pills prescription? Me wanna know. LOL I worry sleepless nights coming my way. Lala~ Joking la~

Sometimes we keep chasing what we dont have, and we forget what we've got and missed the best of our lifes.

Sometimes we just don't want to let go because we believe in better future.

DDS: Deep Dark Secret

2010-09-16T16:40:00.001+08:00

Secret is something unknown to others. Do you have secret?? I bet most of you do. Somehow, a deep dark secret of my friend came to me. Wait! I don't intend to say what is it. I understand her feeling. She made a bitchy mistake but I know she doesn't mean it.She's under confusion at that moment. So I forgive her and I wish the secret will not be revealed by others until forever. I also hope that she is in peace with herself because people who has secret like that will not sleep peacefully. Haih. It's suffering to have secrets.

Its true that we have to move on and the past remain the past. But sometimes the past is too painful to be forgotten. Knowing something that happened in the past might have change the course I am walking right now. Knowing its too late makes me wonder and question what I am having now. Suddenly everything become so insecure. Maybe what I'm having now is not what I think I'm having. So scary.

Btw, Resident Evil still rocks!

Responsibility vs Love

2010-09-14T20:13:00.002+08:00

Today a guy friend told me that a lot of his friends are in relationships which are not based on Love. They believe that it's hard to find a girl they love and most likely the love will not last forever. So they rely on "responsibility". It's ok to be in relationship with a girl they like but not love because eventually being together will be a responsibility and this responsibility will be hold forever.

To be honest, I don't understand how is that possible. Is this just like how a girl will choose a guy who loves her more than she loves him? I mean the similarity between these two cases are they are not in love in the relationships. The girl doesn't love the guy but she relies on the love given by the guy. For the case above, the guy doesn't love the girl but he relies on the sense of responsibility after being together for a period of time.

You see, I always heard people said they fell out of love or how they are cheated by their love ones. Love can be strong but at the same time so fragile. No matter how strong your love is, it will fade away sooner or later. Haha people can cheat even when they still love you. Being responsible means doing the right thing. What kind of responsibilities a bf, hubby, and father will have? Ofcourse not cheating, neglecting or beating their love ones. The sense of responsibility sounds more reliable to me now but I'm still not sure.

I think I know now why some couple can last till old. Ya, some of them are really in love but I guess responsibility is their foundation. I asked my friend before why two people can be together for so so so many years until they die? He said those couple went through a lot of stages in their lifes. Firstly, they went through the courting stage. Then they announced themselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. They said "I Love You" to each other. After a period of time, marriage came into their life. They called each other husband and wife. Oh well, after honeymoon they felt bored having only two of them. So, they started making babies. Watching their babies grown into a toddler, lad, teenager, young adult, and adults already took more than 20 years of their lifes. What I'm trying to say is every stages of life will bring something new into our life. I hate people said they are bored with their married life or bored of their spouses. If you appreciate people around you, you will realized you have more than what you think you have.

Hehe, so show your appreciation to your love ones la. :P

Hehe so nice to blog from my new netbook. Lalala~

p/s: the main reason a spouse cheat is because of OPPORTUNITY. So you people out there pandai pandai jaga diri la~

I Need Money

2010-09-06T21:57:00.003+08:00

I am not born in a rich family. My family is sort of a bit lower than middle class. So now I'm working in Selangor and people here are mostly from middle class or above. Sometimes I kinda envy people around me because of their financial status. For people around my age, they have parents who bought them car which mean they know nothing about loan. I see intern in my company that is capable of buying designer spectacle. I see girls carry around their LV, Burberry, Prada or Coach bags. I see girls buying MAC, or Bobbi Brown make up. I see girls wearing nice nice nice dresses that I dread to have. I see couples that travel around the globe, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Korea which are popular destination for this season due to low air fare. I cant even afford a passport. Haha.

Well, I know I am not materialistic. I don't mind to not owning LV or not being able to visit Taiwan. I won't feel happy by buying high end product. But sometimes I feel a bit awkward and embarrass when people asked me about me experience. I have no experience on travelling to anywhere not even Singapore. Oh, and when I mentioned that, people tend to return an awkward smile to me. Sometimes they don't even understand and keep asking you why don't you buy this why don't you buy that? It's annoying! So ya, I admit I do envy others. I don't need luxury. I just need more experiences but I guess some experiences can only get with money.

In the end, I put my plan to study MBA on hold because I found a more lucrative job which pays more than my current job. Yeah, I am going after money for now. I feel so "mou nang wai lik" without money. I don't even have extra money to go for body check up or get myself insurance. Yeah, I have no insurance now, not even those family health insurance. Hmm.. If something happens to me, I really don't know what can I do. FML. :p

I never resent my own life because I know there are poorer people. I know some people don't even have the money to buy food. I understand that I need to work hard. Nothing comes easy. I am still young. I need to find more money. Forget about enjoyment for awhile because I know I can't afford it. "I just want money, no life also nvm." Okla, I exaggerated a bit. I just want enough money so I can retired at age 40 and travel around the world. :p Thanks to those who supports me all along. Muacks!

Who I Am?

2010-08-26T08:14:00.000+08:00

I always wonder what kind of girl I’m. Am I weak? Am I a loser? Am I capable of doing the big thing? My friend enlightens me today. She said we are actually smart, hardworking and better than a lot of girls out there. We are independent since young age. We both have working parents. So, since young we settle every aspects of our life ourselves. We went through primary school and secondary school ourselves. We pushed ourselves to study and get good grades. We even took care of our brothers. I remember how we took bus to KL and explored KL with our friends. We went to our university to look around. And yea, we studied in MMU for 3 years. We come from average family. No car for us to use. So we walked to uni everyday even under rain. Haha attended the whole classes with wet clothes. Cold and smelly. We took bus from Cyberjaya to Sunway Pyramid, KL, or One Utama just to shop. Yea, we endured 1 to 2 hours of ride on public transports just to get out and have some fun. And then graduation, we made our parents really proud of us. After graduated from MMU, we started to go on different paths. We found our jobs and we now we are working hard to accomplish our goals.

Haha, and well because I don’t have really rich parents, I need to get my own car and pay the installments myself. What next? Of course keep striving for my future. I need to find a job that I can make it my career. I want to earn money and spend on stuff I like. Holidays? Yea maybe I a not lucky enough to have sponsors from family or boyfriend but I believe if I work hard enough I can go to any places I want. I just cannot sit there and do nothing.

My friends asked me why not find job in Kuantan. I know in Kuantan I can stay near to my family and will have fewer expenses. But how many opportunities are available for me? Yea, its stressful staying alone. Moreover, you will get pressure from peers, boss, managers, or even boyfriend. Yea, sometimes I look down at people who keep complaining no job cannot find job. Why? It’s you who doesn’t want to strive for your future. I saw so many vacancies out there. When you’re given a chance to study, make full use of it and get good results. Then when you’re given a chance for interview, go ahead and present yourself well. If you don’t have the quality to be choosy, stop being choosy. Get a job for starter and earn some experience and then you can find better job. Nothing starts easy.

I believe that not everyone is sure of what they like. So, if you don’t know, go try! Don’t sit there and expect your parents to feed you. Get yourself to try out every field and then you can decide which suit you the most. If you want to complain, it’s ok. I complain too. But don’t avoid. Face the problem and you can find your way out. No use to hide under the protection shell.

After chatting with my friends, I am so proud of us. We might not be as smart as certain people who grew up in big city. We might not have the chance to study oversea. But we are still learning and climb up the ladder. We do not lose to anybody! Hehe, don’t play play.

Tak suka smoker!

2010-08-23T21:22:00.003+08:00

Lately I’m so de-motivated. No mood to work at all. Imagine two of my colleagues leaving. Ops! One of them already enjoying herself in hometown and another one leaving in October. All this while I already not so happy there and now two of my closest colleagues will be gone soon. Imagine the feeling. I know people always come and go and the one who stays always the saddest one. Sigh. I’m gonna miss the time we sit together, sien together, talk nonsense together, gossips together and lunch together. Though 10 months is very short but being sien together made us closer. Arguments made us closer as well. :P

Today is the first day she not in already. An uncle sits beside me. Argh I hate the smell of cigarette on him (my friend said professional smoker won’t leave smell on their clothing wor..is that true?). I never thought working in office need to smell such foul odors. Diu kao them. Make me even hate inconsiderable smokers. Wan smoke, smoke at home or go to pub or club or anywhere. Please don’t pollute my air in my small tiny desk. Sit far away la. The smell on your clothes is annoying enough. I always feel smokers are the most inconsiderable creature in this world.

Some say as long I don’t smoke in front non-smoker then its good enough. What the heck is tat? You’re still selfish because you’re hurting people who love you. You wan smoke? Then don’t have a family. Imagine you’re admitted to hospital cause of whatever shitty cancers you get from smoking. Who is the one who suffers more??? YOUR FAMILY. Emotionally and physically suffer. How bout the money used to pay for your medical fees? HUH? You’re a lot richer if you don’t smoke and probably the money you used to buy cigarettes is enough to bring your family on a few happy vacations.

Last 2 weeks I went to a coffee shop for lunch. The table next to mine is occupied by 2 men, 1 woman and 2 kids (cute little girl and boy). The adults are all in their 40s and the kids are below 7 years old. The little girl sat beside the woman. You know what the woman did?? She smoked in front of her little girl. I think the little girl just around 3-4 years old. OMG!! Such a cute girl being polluted by the ignorance b*tch! Okay, after that the two guys smoked. WTH?? I felt so angry the moment I saw it. I pitied the 2 kids. How I wish there’s a law punishing ignorance asses like them. Haih. Another case, while watching a movie in the cinema, a guy kept going out of the cinema for cigarettes while holding a baby. FUCKED UP! THEY ARE ALL FUCKED UP INDIVIDUALS THAT DOESN’T DESERVE ANYONE!!!

Tomorrow I will make a big decision. Please pray for me. Thanks. :)

Title-less

2010-08-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

WHERE TO GO??

WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT??

POINTLESS...

LIFELESS...

:'(

I Dislike Argument!

2010-08-05T18:22:00.001+08:00

After all this time, I never know how to handle arguments involving me and another ego person or even a few ego person. An ego person always think he/she is right and will never consider what others said at the time of the argument. I used to argue back and defend myself with whatever facts I have. This method leads me to become more and more furious and angry and eventually I will tend to increase my volume. Guess what? this method sucks. Then, I tried the softer method by keeping quiet and talk nicely. Haha. The result 50 50. Sometimes it works and sometimes doesn't. Some people will angry at you for being quiet because they are all pumped up to scold you but who knows you keep quiet and they have no chance to fight back. It works because some people will take the quiet time to cool down and balance their emotions. Whenever I use the softer method, the other person will keep attack me until I lose my patient. :( I am learning to be a better person. I don't want to say hurtful stuff. I don't want to say something that I will regret later. But no matter how, I still cannot avoid argument.

Believe it or not I'm still searching a way to handle ego person and at the same time making sure I don't become the ego one in arguments. I need lotsa strength and patience. I have to bypass all the insults in order for me to keep calm. I have to remind myself whatever said during rage doesn't count. How to do it? How to do it when the other person keep blaming you while you trying to calrify? How to do it when you try to explain and the other person keep say "Enough of excuses. You're keep looping to prove you're innocent."? How to do it when the other person keep bashing bout how shitty you are? How come some people just doesn't realise that they themselves have problems? Is it winning an argument so important? Because if yea I'm willing to say I'm sorry. I hate argument so much. I really hope people understand that when I am arguing with them, this mean they worth something to me. They worth my time. So, how come they cannot put down their ego for just a minute? What for you argue with me if my opinions doesn't matter? Since you so willing to argue with me, doesn't this mean I am worth something too? Is your pride and egoness worth much more than me? It's true. Don't let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in their life. Relationships (include friendships) work best when they are balanced.

Lately, I am so tired. I'm sick of arguments. I am surprise of how long I can withstand it all. Haha. Who knows, 5 years later I will have heart attack. Or maybe I will just give up already. I am giving up already. Pushing away people that upset me and expect a lot from me when I held no responsible towards them. I cannot afford to lose my own happiness cause of inconsiderable human beings that like to ruin others' life. I'm sick of judgemental human beings too. They tend to come into your life direct and judge you this and that. they know nothing but still kacau kali. Seriously, if the don't understand but still wanna kacau kali, they worth nothing in my life too.

So yea. I will push away kacau kali human beings and appreciate what I am having right now. Appreciate people that always by my side even during my evil time. Appreciate my family that sacrifice so much for me. Appreciate my love ones. I will enjoy my life. Sometimes, I found myself feeling lonely. It's ok. I will find my way eventually. I am independent girl since the age of 10. My parents let me handle everything myself. From studying to finding university to choosing boyfriend. I choose my own path. Of course, it's tired being independent person. I admit I want to be pampered too. To be treated like a princess. Not always but sometimes. Nevermind. I believe I will find it all. :P

Yee, what a long long post. It feels so nice to rant it all out. Phew~

Anyway, if any of you reader has way(s) to settle argument with ego, stubborn people, do let me know! :)

I am so vain. Lalalal~ Nerdy me..

Answers

2010-08-05T02:51:00.003+08:00

I feel frustrated because I don't have answers to my many questions. I despise myself for not able to decide what I want for my future. Being clueless is definitely not fun. Now, I wake up everyday and go to work. After work maybe I'll go to gym if I'm not tired or sometimes I'll go for a movie. Believe it or not I have no goal, no dream and no plan in my mind. I feel like a walking zombie going through one day by one day and waiting for something to happen. Ya, I feel like a dumb ass waiting for miracle to happen instead of making miracle myself. I'm walking through a long, dark and narrow aisle. The narrowness and darkness make me nervous and suffocate. Sometimes I have plans but it sucks when I cannot execute them. I must break away before it's too late. I need strength in whatever I'm doing. I need to know what to do. I want to do it as perfect as it can be. I sacrifice too much to let it go now. No way I'm giving up. No. No give up just yet! I will do something else to compensate what I cannot do and not just stop there. Yea, we always have choices!

New Look

2010-08-01T14:51:00.000+08:00

I Miss Us and Uni Life

2010-07-23T22:43:00.001+08:00

I miss all my friends, I miss my uni life, I miss my past so much.
A friend of mine told me that he never see a very happy Hoon Hoon for a very long time dy.
I guess I have changed since I started working.
Life is not so fun anymore.
Friends are scattered all over.
Work, burdens, and worries overcome my days.
I admit I am not as happy as I used to be anymore.
I wish I can find back THE ME. The happy go lucky me. :(

Mong Mong, remember this?
We're so young and happy back then.
I miss you, I miss all of us, I miss OldTown yum cha session..

It's Nice To Be Sad Once Awhile

2010-07-19T23:25:00.001+08:00

Recently I have very normal mood. Everything is so normal. No to emo and no to sad. Today I skipped gym. Yea, again. :P Been quite lazy lately. I even plan to sell the gym membership. Hehe. Anyway, I skipped the gym and enjoy my alone time walking in One Utama. Went to Forever 21 and tried out a dress. Nice but as usual no money to buy. LOL. Pathetic. Then went to MPH to browse some magazines. Then I bought Tropical Breeze from Juice Work and bread from Bread Story. My final destination was Bookcrossing Zone. Just as I sat there, I realized there's a pianist playing the piano. He played a few sad songs and all of them were so damn nice. :D I also realized that it is nice to be sad once awhile because this reminds me to be grateful of my life.I might not be lucky enough or bad luck but I have most of the things other girls wanted. So, even if I cannot have what I wanted right now I need to believe that there's always another way out. If I do wrong in the past, there's no need to blame myself but to move towards a better future. I just need to find the other paths!

Old Brain

2010-07-16T19:57:00.003+08:00

I’ve been worrying a lot lately. Worry that my brain started to shut down. Why? Ever since working, I didn’t use my brain much. Yah, I’m a programmer. It’s has been 1 year 4 months since I started working. I can feel my brain getting rusty. Programmer, maybe I am not meant to be programmer. Up to now, what I did the most is “copy and paste”. I have lost my touch in writing and thinking and learning. I used to be able to write a lot during my exam. Even it was just 2 marks answer I can write and crap a lot. But now, I doubt I can do it anymore.

My brain stopped learning since I started work. I feel there is nothing worth learning from my work. I have no interest no motivation no energy. It’s not that I hate working. I love the idea of working, being able to support yourself and freedom. I am more than willing to do OT if I have interest towards my work. Somehow, I figured I’m not suit to be a programmer. No passion means no advancement. No learning means my brain getting lazy. Seriously, I am very seriously worry about my brain. L Maybe I should eat more raisins. I heard from my friend that raisins are good for the brain. It helps improve the memory capability. Maybe can activate my brain. LOL. Who knows? Or maybe I should drink pig’s brain soup? Or I should join my mummy play mahjong? Prevent Alzheimer le~

Maybe the feeling of choosing the wrong profession contributes to me wanting to pursue MBA. Haha no regret anyway. I should look forward instead of looking backward. Daddy said go ahead and plan la go la go la. I keep asking whether he is serious or not. LOL. Maybe I should call him again to prevent him for regretting. :P Anyway, he said YES. I am F*CKING happy. One step closer to my study. Lala~ Tomorrow going to check out the uni. :D

How You Buy Shoes Shows How You Treat Love

2010-07-11T20:09:00.001+08:00

My friend told me that you can see how a person treat love when the person buy shoes. For me, buying a pair of shoes is not an easy task to do. I can walk a few malls looking for shoes and go home empty handed. Which type are you?

If you choose the patterns of the shoes rather than the comfortability, then you're a person who will choose a partner who has the look rather than the inner beauty.

If you choose comfortability over the patterns, then you're a person who will choose a partner with inner beauty and look will not be something that matter.

What will you do if the pair of shoes you like so much but your size is out of stock? Some people will buy a size smaller while hoping that the shoes will loosen after a period of time wearing them. You know it may be painful at the beginning but you still believe it will be ok soon. You endure the pain because it is worth. How this reflects in love? You choose to be with someone although you see so many obstacles coming. You might be hurt a few times or neglected but you hang on to the person because you believe he/she worth it. He/she might be the perfect one.

You choose not to buy the shoes because your size is not available means you're someone rational.You will not force your foot into a pair of shoes that doesn't suit you although you love the shoes so so much. This means you will not force yourself to be with someone when deep inside you know both of you are not suit for each other. You will choose to move forward.

At first I think I am the rational shoes buyer. Will not buy the shoes if the shoes doesn't suit me. But when I try to recall shoes that I bought, I realized I did bought a few pairs of shoes that doesn't really fit perfectly with my foot believing that I can use a few method to loosen them. :P One of the method I can recommend is fill in two zip lock bag with water and put it into the shoes. Then put the shoes into freezer and wait for the water to become ice. Tadah! The shoes will be expanded slowly. Haih, so I am the kind of person believing that if I try hard enough, the shoes can fit me. Yea, the theory fits my love life as well. Die die also don't want to give up. @.@ I don't know this is a good attitude or not. Wearing not suitable shoes will leave you with scars. Do you love the scars? By the time the shoes fit you, you might need to start looking for new shoes again as the shoes already worn off.

I guess my friend is right. Sometimes, things we do as norm influence how we make decision in life. The only thing is you cannot predict how the future will be. So, focus NOW.

MBA

2010-07-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

Dad called and asked me about my plan to study MBA. Yea, I plan to take up MBA part-timely. Been thinking about it since I started to work. LOL almost 1 year already. I received many reactions from people when I mentioned my plan to them.

"Aiya, study in Malaysia mana good one, no quality."
"Part time study wor, very sin ku de."
"Study Master no use one la, can't really get you anywhere."
"Many people have such plan also la, but in the end all cakap kosong only."

Deep inside I really wish I could continue study. But I have burden now. I have almost RM100k loan. So, my only option is to take up part time study so I can work and study at the same time. And yea, I can't afford to go oversea and study. I do believe MBA in Malaysia has the standard as I have friends who's pursuing MBA locally. I do believe taking MBA will help me in my future. I guess in the end whether it helps you or not, it is depends on how you make use of the experience and knowledge you gained during the studies. Seriously, I get lotsa negative reactions when I told them I want to pursue my studies.

Daddy said, if I really want it, he can support my studies since my brothers have no plan to continue their studies, I am indeed very happy but I dislike the idea of my brothers not continuing their studies.

Yea, daddy can support tuition fee. How about living cost? Hmm.. Part time studies and full time studies give different outcomes. Wanted to go for full time but I have so many loans. Headache. Better sleep first and continue next day. I have half year to plan everything out.

Nite nite~

At first when I see you cry, yeah it makes me smile...

2010-07-02T22:38:00.001+08:00

"Smile"

When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door, what cha do that for (what cha do that for)
When you first left me I didn't know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

Whenever you see me you say that you want me back
And I tell you it don't mean jack, no it don't mean jack
I couldn't stop laughing, no I just couldn't help myself
See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalala

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Set Me Free

2010-06-29T21:49:00.001+08:00

Does this makes any difference?

2010-06-20T21:01:00.006+08:00

"Tonight I Wanna Cry"

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
[Chorus:]
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
[Repeat chorus twice]

Imposter

2010-06-19T18:56:00.001+08:00

So, my friend discovered some psycho created a FB profile of me Anna Hau using the the pictures from my blog. Some people said that it is a virus spam generated profile. But if it is that case wouldn't it using pictures from my real FB account rather than my blog's pictures? Hmmm... Enlighten me please because I really have no idea. :) Btw, my friend saw a name appeared on the fake account wall post. "Anthony Pak". I am not saying he is the ghost behind all this. I am just thinking maybe he knows what is going on? Hmmm....

Cry

2010-06-16T00:18:00.001+08:00

Me talking to myself (it's not creepy la).

Baby,

I know you wake up every morning with the desire to be a meaningful person, to bring joy and smile to everyone, and as simple as happy.

Most of the people are easy to be deceived when you're a good actor.

I understand why you try to convince other people that you're happy.

You just don't want to be the weak one.

You don't want people to worry about you.

You don't want to lose this battle.

I'm sure there are times when you're genuinely happy. Embrace it.

It's Ok baby, the light is off.

Cry as much as you want. Hug your bolster if it comforts you.

Deep inside you know you will cry lesser tomorrow and soon you will sleep with a smile on your face.

See, tomorrow is a better day.

Wash your face and go to bed.

Muacks. :) Good night and sweet dreams baby.

I Love you.

Back From Malacca

2010-06-13T03:08:00.002+08:00

No idea why but I love this picture so much~

Haha my goal 48kg hmmm temporary on hold~ Lalala~

It's my time!!

2010-06-11T21:10:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I'm very angry at ignorant people. They ask me why I am not happy then I said it out. Then you know what happened? They keep talking bout themselves and how they are worst than me. Keep on comparing until the main purpose is lost. It's so hard to find a good listener. Someone that is wiling to listen to me and try to understand my situation. What worst is, they even judged me. You ask me share stuff, I said it out then you judged me. WTH?? I open myself up to you and you attack me?? Seriously, I feel so bad mood today. I just hope when people said they wanna listen, it is true from their heart and it's not cause of sampat! Sien. I understand in this world, there are many many people who is way more worth pity than me. But now it's my time! I don't want people to pity me. I just want people to be sincere when they ask me to talk! Argh!

Anyhow I feel better after type it all out... Lala~ Life goes on. Stay positive Hoon Hoon!~

Broga Hill

2010-06-06T12:17:00.005+08:00

Last night went to watch "Killers". Love it. Obvious reasons, Ashton Kutcher's body memang HOT and I really like Katherine Heighl. :D Of course la, it's a fun movie to watch.

So, I reached home at 2.15am then i had 1.5 hours of sleep. Why? Cause started my journey to Broga Hill at 5am. Cool le... I thought I can't make it to the top cause I'm weak but but I made it. Lala~ *pat* myself. Since this is one famous hill, it is always visited by lotsa people. This is the only reason why I dislike it. NO FRESH AIR! Haha, the air is polluted by the smell of sweat. *yucks* After Broga Hill of course pergi makan breakfast la. Had dim sum at USJ20. Yummy (Most of the choices really nice but the loh mai kai really terrible. :p). I am happy. :D thanks to Billy, YJ, JY (Korean guy) and Calvin.

I guess this song apply again~

Off Friday

2010-06-04T20:02:00.007+08:00

Went to Redbox (The Curve) today. Me and my housemate. Chew, I thought we have like 3 hours to sing mana tahu only 2 hours! Or I too long no sing k dy? How come 3 hours become 2 hours dy??? Very very not satisfied! :( But Prince of Persia nice to watch le. I like it! Very much. LOL. Finally, I bought a pair of new working shoes. Thrown away the koyak koyak one~ Lala~

"From the Bottom of My Broken Heart"
Britney Spears

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?

And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you know, still I miss you somehow

[CHORUS:]
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said, "please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about

But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end

[Repeat CHORUS]

You promised yourself
But to somebody else
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here

[Repeat CHORUS]

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?

Forever

2010-05-30T19:15:00.004+08:00

"You convinced me that forever exists but you proved yourself wrong."
-Hoon Hoon

"Who am I to you? I am just nothing you said."
-Hoon Hoon

Beryl's Chocolate Fair

2010-05-29T16:13:00.003+08:00

Start of with my SS (Syok Sendiri) pictures. :P

Went to the Beryl's Chocolate Fair just now.

You can have as many chocolate as you want but I don't think you're capable of eating too much also. JELAK. Haha. It's worth going la if you have nothing to do. Get some free chocolates. :P I tried sesame white chocolate with almond. NOT BAD WEH~ Anyway you can purchase them to bring home or as a gift to your girlfriend. Me and my friend bought this.

Yea potato chips covered with chocolate. Weird combination that's why we bought it. LOL. Taste funny le. Like...Hmmm...You try then you know la... Lalala~

"Don't say you love me when you don't even care about me anymore."
-Hoon Hoon

My weekend

2010-05-16T23:28:00.005+08:00

I had a nice weekend.

Watched 2 movies, The Nightmare on Elm Street and Robin Hood.

I prefer Robin Hood more.

Ate a lot of food too. Italian cuisine, Pancakes, Dim Sum, and mamak.

Haha, I know I am lame for saying like that.

Oh well, at least I am happy.

And I found a friend that enjoy horror film like I do.

This is so rare!! Those movies I watched, well he basically watched most of it too.

You never know how long I search for people with same movie interest. Haha.

Horror, Gore, Geli, Zombies, Vampires...lala~

But, a lady always langgar my car! WTF no look want to change lane.

I honked kao kao!! I am just at her side. DIU!! I hate you!

Argh! It's raining now. Nice to sleep.

Good night la! :D

KFC AM

2010-05-14T20:12:00.001+08:00

Hehe, just wanna inform readesr that this is not an advert post.

Today I tried out the KFC breakfast combo since it is so hot on FlyFm. Quite valuable also. RM5 for the membership card then you will get a free AM Riser Combo worth RM5.90 along with some vouchers. The combo comes with tea/coffee/orange juice and a burger. Of course there are other choices la. Nasi lemak or the twister thingy.

The card.

Vouchers.

Yummy. Juice chicken fillet.

Quite tasty le. But I wonder why no people eat KFC breakfast. Each morning I pass by to go to McD, KFC empty empty one. Probably not much advertisement? Hmm they should revise more on how to do marketing. LOL cause even after they offer the card, KFC still empty. Haha, well today not la cause got me n my friend.

Haha today went to donate blood too. I don't know why but I feel happy each time if I can help people.

Sunday Morning

2010-05-09T12:41:00.003+08:00

Wake up feeling devastated. My brain just don't want to rest even when I'm sleeping. Argh! I hate this feeling.

Wish every moms in the world has a nice Mother's Day celebration~

Something I lost in the past

2010-04-27T23:48:00.002+08:00

Just now, I saw pictures of a woman and her family and friends on Facebook. This woman used to be a close friend of mine 6-8 years ago (I don't know whether she felt the same though). We studied in the same school during secondary and Form 6. She was a pretty, soft type of girl and she is still a pretty lady. We had so much in common. We shared make up and fashion tips. We did revision together. We went to a few same tuition places. We ponteng school together just to have breakfast near her house. Yea, there times when we argued or disagreed. But it doesn't matter cause we forgive and forget. Oh..I miss those days.

So, there was this guy that I went out with for almost a year during Form 6. By the end of Upper 6, we broke up. He and her started to get close not long after that. And before you know it, things started to become awkward. She was kinda avoided me but actually I am so OK with them being together. I'm not that kind of girl that tells her besties "You can never date my ex!". So yea, they got my blessing al along.

Actually, what I'm trying to say is I miss her. Seeing the pictures of her and her families and our two common friends make me feel sad. I am asking myself why I'm not in the pictures. I did nothing wrong but still I lost a friend. I really wish that I am in the pictures with them but I guess when things changed, hardly you can make it back to how it was.

Anyway, I just hope that she is having a happy life now and the future of course. :)

Some retarded guy

2010-04-25T15:52:00.008+08:00

Okay. Just now I posted this status on FB.

"Most of the guys always complain having girlfriends means spending more money but they never realized it happens to most of the girls too. Having boyfriends means we spend more money too!!!!"

Let me elaborate. I said MOST because I don imply on every guy in this world. Well, I realized some guys always complain about how much money they need to spend on their girlfriends. But the fact is, they never realized SOME girls facing the same thing. Dating means go out makan-makan, watch movie, lepak here and lepak there. Sometimes, I'll pay for my own expenses during those outings. Movie? Aiya download saje lar. Makan? Aiya maggie saje lar.

So, after I posted the status, a retarded guy come and kacau kali. I guess he just don't understand what MOST and SOME means. Well, to be honest I kinda hate guys who keeps complain just to make themselves sound more superior than their gfs. LAME.

Here are some of the things he said:

"spend more money in cosmetic and dresses is it?
:-D
but still girls spend on herself, guys spend on GIRLS..."

WTF, even if girls spend on herself that is to make you proud of her also. Seriously, if I really bought a new dress, I really wish to wear it for my bf to see first lo!!

"seriously i really dont see how girls spending money on bf lo.. with or without bf daily expenses u still need to pay right?"

Of course need to pay for daily expenses but NOT THAT OFTEN ma!! Got Bf 1 month watch > 5 times movies. Bf not here I watch like 1 month 1 movie lo!!

"see my situation first b4 u ask me to shut my mouth

i pay the food, drinks, movie tickets, car fuel, tolls, car maintenance, her hp bills, her shopping (dresses, hand bags), her daily products (listerlin, tooth brush, tooth paste, toner, cleanser, whitening cream, mask, eyelashes, lipstick), even her glooming of hair rebonding and colouring..."

LOL! All I can see here is he is pijak-ing his gf to make other people feel that he is "GENEROUS" *vomit*

"we are in totally different world, u and ur frens as gf pay partly for ur bf, im as a bf that pay everything.. that's how argument starts.. and i didnt complain here.. just in my situation i dont see my gf spending.. get it?
=.="

If you don't want to spend so much on her, tell her and not complain publicly to everyone else. LAME ASSHOLE!~

"by the way.. i dont see how honour it is for gf to pay partially when pak tou.. dont it sounds so proud... it's an ego to me..."

LOL EGO + DAI NAM YAN spotted here.

(Er.. actually he deleted all his responses in my FB, but thanks to email notifications, I get to copy and paste out all his responses. Though some cannot be retrieved.)

Anyhow, today still a wonderful Sunday. Cheers~

Politics and Girls

2010-04-21T22:52:00.008+08:00

I hate to admit it but I am addicted to junk food. I need at least a packet of Wise Cottage Fries a day (Sour Cream and Onion Flavour). I really love it more than Pringles, Lays, or Ruffles. Chips are NO GOOD for health! So, I am very determined to conquer my addiction. No more chips from today onwards for at least 2 weeks. Yea, I read that you need at least 2 weeks to fully recover from the addiction. Omg, I am so craving for it now.

Okay. Lets get to the point why I am addicted to junk food. Actually I feel so so stressed out. I resorted to food to help me de-stress. Other than junk food, I am craving for fried chicken, pizza, spaghetti, McD, and etc etc etc. Seriously, I am gaining back the weight I lost. :(

Yesterday, something happened in my office. I don't know whether it is consider as office politic or it is normal human argument. The people involved in the scenario are ME, MR Y, MS K, and MS W.

MR Y feel that MS K is very annoying because she keeps repeat saying the same stuff again and again and again. So, MR Y kinda "debated" with her face to face and through IM (Instant Messaging ex: GTALK, MSN). I remained neutral all the while because I do understand why someone keep repeating the same thing again and again and again. I think she just need to release her stress by complaining. I'll listen through my right ear, let it out through my left ear and help whenever I could.

While they are IM-ing, MR Y suddenly IM me and told me how he trying to make sense out of her. I really don't know what to say, so I'm trying to be sarcastic and said "You two low EQ, boh bian." Wah, then MR Y started to "attack" me pulak. Maybe he "terasa" by my words. Actually I dy sensed him being MOODY since morning. But he blamed me being moody and said I am so moody that I showed him dark face when he asked me question in the morning. I was like HUH??? I'm teaching you and you showed the face like I'm disturbing you and not appreciating my help now you said I am moody??? WTF??? Up to one point I blocked him because I am so sick of arguing. I need to remain calm so I stopped speaking to him for the rest of the day in the office.

My rage for being accused was still heating inside of me. So, I put up some status regarding the scenario in my GTALK. Seriously, I am fucking angry that moment. Fucking hate being accused.

Argh, I guess I couldn't write anything bad bout my colleague huh??? Depressing.. Because I have to delete a whole paragraph. Just so that people won't misunderstood me??? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Wanted to be someone STRAIGHT FORWARD is not easy. TOO MANY FUCKED UP PEOPLE WHO CAN'T ACCEPT THE TRUTH. FUCK ALL THE BITCHES!!!!

Too bad it's hard to make people believe me and understand where I'm standing unless they "went" in my shoes before. Haha this is true case where some of my friends finally get a taste of my shoes. LOL. Thanks to those who wiling to lend me an ear. Muacks.

I know everyone has weaknesses. So, I would just forgive and forget most of the time. I support PEACE. :P
Oh ya before I end my post I want to wish one of my listener VEI SEE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Sayang you!!

Women

2010-03-31T20:26:00.004+08:00

I believe that most women are highly-emotional creature. I'm a woman myself. I know it very well.

Women love to say stuff they don't mean it.

It's like 99% of the women in this universe wish so so hard that their men would understand this special behaviour of women. I read quite a number of articles related to this issue and I still don't understand why men so ignorant that they don't get it? Women LOVE to say the opposite of what they are actually thinking.

Women don't actually say out what they want because if they said it out loud and clear, it loses its meaning. If I want something, I will hint you and you better be smart and get it! :D Sometimes women don't say out because they don't believe their men are able to give them what they want. Since they never say it out, if their men really did do nothing for them, they can blame no one but themselves. So, its not that hurtful.

I admit I'm a very emotional woman. Well, this applies towards me and my boyfriend. I hardly show my emo side to any of my friends. So as a boyfriend, never ever label your girlfriend as crazy, unreasonable or trouble maker bitch. This is a part of life which you have to go through to grow up and be a real man by protecting your woman!

Hehe.. So, be gentle to your girlfriends ok? Specially during PMS period. :) You know they love you very much.

Oh ya, when a woman rejected you for sex you better don't think she doesn't mean it. You might be charged with attempting to rape! :P So, remember to get her consent. LOL

Boring same days

2010-03-25T22:00:00.000+08:00

Oh no. I abandoned my blog for so so long. Forgive me though. Nothing much happened to me lately. It's just lame ol' Hoon Hoon. Go to work, eat, sleep, and eat again as usual.

I didn't resent my job as much as I did last few weeks. Thanks to those who cared. No matter what, I also wont quit and give up easily. This is me and this is why you love me!! :P

Haih. But today I received a bad news. I don't get the 2nd interview. :( I wanted to go in the company so badly but I guess we have no fate. Too bad. It's their lost!! Now, I should work properly while finding for a new job. Shhh!~

Lately, I am obsessed with GLEE. It's a musical TV series. Okla if you have no clue what it is, try watching this clip.Definitely lovin it.

Happy Belated White Day

2010-03-15T20:59:00.004+08:00

In Japan, Valentine's Day is observed by females who present chocolate gifts (either store-bought or handmade), usually to a male, as an expression of love, courtesy or social obligation. The handmade chocolate is usually preferred by the receiver, because it is a sign that the receiving male is the girl's "only one". On White Day, the converse happens: males who received a honmei-choco (本命チョコ^?, "chocolate of love") or giri-choco (義理チョコ^?, "courtesy chocolate") on Valentine's Day are expected to return the favor by giving gifts, usually more expensive. Traditionally, popular White Day gifts are cookies, jewellery, white chocolate, white lingerie and marshmallows. Sometimes the term sanbai gaeshi (三倍返し^?, literally, "thrice the return")is used to describe the generally recited rule that the return gift should be two to three times the cost of the Valentine's gift.-Wikipedia

I just want to wish everyone Happy White Day (LOL yesterday)!! Here's a song for you by Cheap Trick (belated Heath was one of the member) - I Want You To Want Me.

And this also from Cheap Trick - Smile

Young-age crisis

2010-03-12T22:47:00.004+08:00

I think I'm having some sort of age crisis right now. You know, that's something similar to midlife crisis.

Okay, based on Wikipedia, midlife crisisis a term to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age.

I would call my "period" as young-adult crisis.

Why am I having such crisis????

I am having a lame job. You see, when ppl ask me what is my job I will say I'm a programmer. They would go WOW. Can't imagine a girl like you would be a programmer. I kinda regretting choosing this course but, I guess there is no turning back. I am trying to change my job so i will feel better. But now I feel even worst cause I'm waiting for the news from the company I went for interview few weeks back. How long should I wait? :( I want that job badly because I hate being a programmer and I have doing copy paste work all the time. I sent the HR girl an email today and guess what? She is on leave until 22 March. Sigh. I have to wait for another week. How to go on with living when I resented it everyday? I feel headache everytime I reach office and all the headache gone when I leave the office. LOL. And I suspected the stress caused my chest to pain. Almost everyday. Paranoia???

I am lacking of girl friends. I have some great friends but I am just lacking of girl friends I can hang out with. You see, most of my friend dy found their other half. So, it's kinda hard to go out with them. This makes me even lonelier. It's so hard to find a close girl friend at this age. I really don't know how to find someone who would appreciate me as a friend, someone who has the same interest as me or someone that is as lame as me to be friend with. :( Maybe I should register myself to friend finding site. I might get lucky!

At this point of life, I feel that I'm so lame. I feel like I have nothing. Nothing that I can hold on to. I have nothing that won't leave me. Everything seems to come and go. Nothing stays. I feel really really down (but not until the point of suicidal la..) :P

p/s: I do appreciate everything I have. I am always telling myself I'm lucky. But somehow.. Maybe I need to consult psychologist? Nah, thanks for letting me complain. I'll be alright. :)

ARGHHHHH!!

Me and my new hair

2010-03-06T19:27:00.002+08:00

After more than 5 years of long hair I decided to have short hair. So, I went to Michael and Guys in Sg Wang to have my hair cut and rebond. I like it there. Hehe.

Before:

After:

I don't know about you but I love my new hair very much!! So light so refreshing. ♥

Thanks for viewing. Keke~ ♥♥♥

Farewell Lunch at Organic Recipe

2010-03-05T21:02:00.002+08:00

Today I had lunch at Organic Recipe (Bandar Utama, PJ). It was a farewell lunch for 2 of my colleagues. Such a surprised news actually. Didn't expect them to leave so suddenly. Oh well, this is reality of working ppl. I better move on to introduce the restaurant.

Mixed fruit tea. Not bad.

Very nice coconut. Only rm3.90 le...

Shitake Mushroom.

Somekind of tofu with petai. LOL. I thought it was fish..

Vege and yam. Love the yummy. Seriously delicious.

Asparagus.

Guess???

I hate this dish cause the vege was so sucky. LOL.

Brown rice.

So this is a vegetarian restaurant. All the dishes are made from organic food. Overall, I don't like the dishes we ordered. Having six vegetarian dishes make me JELAK and GELI cause most of them are made from same ingredient such as mushroom, mini corn and capsicum. I feel awful until now. :( But if you order just a few dishes I think they will taste better. Cause I really like the yam and the 'ku lou yuk'. Recommended if you want to try something new! :)

Have a nice weekend!!

Exercise? Diet?

2010-03-03T20:29:00.003+08:00

Alright. Yesterday I beria-ria want to go to gym. Who knows the gym sucks. All equipments except one treadmill are spoil. Somemore, no air circulation. Jiak sai! So, me and my friends decided to go jogging at the park nearby my apartment. To our surprise, the park is damn big and nice.

Camera-shy. :P

The park consist of 2 to 3 lakes. Not bad right? By the way this park is at Kelana Jaya SS7. A nice place to jog, walk or even picnic. :)

Hmmm... Exercise?? Diet?? Total failure. LOL. Cause after a brief jogging session (I think i jog 1/4 of the park only hahahahahaha), me and Vei See went to eat dinner and ice cream. Aiya, it's Tuesday le. Half price for ice cream in Swenson. Kekeke...

You can choose up to 8 flavors!! They have new flavors such as durian, chendol and rocky rock. Must try!! Yummy. Nom Nom Nom.. Eat Eat Eat. Tadah!!! All the effort for jogging hilang like this.

Miss Yiing Wei's Birthday

2010-02-28T13:03:00.008+08:00

Me and my friends went to Pangkor Village, SS24 (Taman Megah) to have CRABBY dinner yesterday. But to our disappointment, CRAB SUDAH HABIS. WTF??? At 7pm all crab sudah habis?!!!

Still, we had our dinner there. The dishes were delicious. But, the service was kinda slow. We have to wait quite some time for all the dishes to arrive. Anyway, this restaurant is pork free.

First was this baby long bean. NICE!

Then this tofu came.

After that, we are served with soupy lala and honey chicken.

Hehe, finally the kam kong squid.

Like I said, the dishes were delicious. But, I feel the portions were quite small for 6 persons. Haha, anyway, we had fun waiting for food and eating the food. :P This restaurant is recommended by us! But you better go early or book first before the CRAB hilang.

It was Yiing Wei's birthday yesterday. So, after the dinner, we went to Oldtown which situated right behind the restaurant. Celebrated her birthday there. Btw, we bought a cake from RT Pastry for her. Seriously, I love the cakes from RT Pastry!! Totally recommended too!!! :P

The cake! Yummy!!

The birthday girl, Yiing Wei.

I personally like this picture. :)

Hehe, my doing.

This sweet couple so happy!

After messing around for awhile, we went to TTDI to play pool and drink. Thanks to Elena, Elena's bf (Ronnie), Vei See, Yong Jun, Khai yen, and Yiing Wei for a fun night.

Haha, last picture to show you how KY anti pork free restaurant.

Here's a video of KY R&B-ing birthdat song for Yiing Wei

Chinese New Year (2010)

2010-02-26T00:42:00.003+08:00

Hehe. I'm sorry for abandoning this blog for quite some time. How you all spend your CNY? I had a very very nice CNY. Had plenty of nice food. Met my lovely relatives and friends.

Started from Saturday, the day for Reunion Dinner, daddy picked me up from Kelana Jaya to Seremban. The traffic was damn jam!!. Poor daddy for driving all the way from Kuantan to fetch me and then to Seremban. LOL. Poor mommy and brothers cause they sit car sit till butt penyet!

My brother :)

The Reunion Dinner was held at my uncle's (daddy's elder brother) place. Nothing much happened there. We headed to Sg Nipah (somewhere near Port Dickson) after the dinner. I love it there. Sg Nipah used to consist of many many pig farms. But due to JE, now it just consist of chicken farms, duck farms, and palm estates. Haih. I miss those piggies so much specially piglets.

Some celebration on Cho2 at Sg Nipah

My niece

I was right under these fireworks when it was launched!

Went to a few houses to Bai Nian before we headed back to Kuantan. I love Kuantan!! Had so much fun with my friends. We went to Lou Sang in Hak Yi Kai. Damn cheap lo. The whole meal cost us RM140++ only for 13 person le!

Me and Mong Mong

Hua and RX

Yiing Wei and Khai Yen

Mong Mong's bf, Nick Kong

All of us

Good fortune for all of us ya!!

Went out for dinner after dinner in Kuantan. Went out for alcohol at our famous Teluk Chempedak beach. Watched a few movies. Yea that's life!!

I miss Kuantan already.

p/s: I'm sorry cause I din have nice pictures. Forgot to bring along my camera. :( Therefore some of you (Vei See, Chee Kin) not even in the pictures I posted. Paiseh.

Oh ya , thanks Chee Kin and Hua Hua for some of the pictures.

Happy Chinese New Year

2010-02-13T09:39:00.002+08:00

It's Chinese New Year.
I want to wish everyone to have healthy and prosperous year ahead.
Hopefully all of you will 88888! :)

My Day

2010-02-09T20:58:00.034+08:00

I am sorry guys, but this is kinda personal.. :)

Password please

p/s: I know some lame IT freaks might just come and crack this post. So what? I'm just that popular.